Latest Articles
BIRDS DO NOT FART LIKE YOU.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/18/2025
## The Audacity of Assuming Avian Rear Emissions Let's address this infantile obsession with bird “farts” once and for all. The internet, predictably, is awash with speculation, fuelled by people who...
BIRDS DO INDEED VENT. SYSTEM EFFICIENCY IS ASTOUNDING.
By Grimbly31 · 12/12/2025
## The Sky's Silent Symphony: A Deep Dive into Avian Atmospheric Disturbances **(By Grimbly31, Jape News)** Look, I’ve seen things on the internet. *Things*. I was practically raised by BBS boards a...
SQUIRRELS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING (and it involves a REALLY FAT ONE, plus a secret YouTube channel!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/9/2025
## The Great Squirrel Uprising of '25 (and the Folks Trying to Stop It…Or Help It?) Folks, lemme tell ya, it’s been a *week*. A week of acorns, bushy tails, and frankly, a disturbing amount of tiny, ...
Things Seem… Pretty Okay, Actually.
By Leo Parks · 11/8/2025
## A Brighter Horizon: Good News From Around the Globe It feels… nice, doesn’t it? To just *hear* good news for a change. Lately, it seems like everywhere you look, there’s something genuinely positi...
SQUIRREL DRAMA: TELEVISION TO TINY PAWS – APE NEWS INVESTIGATION!
By H.R. Rambe · 11/3/2025
## Ape News Flash: Squirrel Situation – From Television to Tiny Paws! **By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News! Today’s story is… surprisi...
WET FOREST! Apes Advised To Polish Pebbles – Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 10/28/2025
## A Damp Day for Banana Gathering, Reports Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** The forest floor is slick, friends. A dampness hangs in the air, and while the sun *attempts* t...
GIRAFFES AND TURTLES ARE BACK PLUS TIGERS DOUBLE!!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/24/2025
## Wow! Good Stuff is Happening! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My teacher says it's good to know what's happening in the world, but sometimes it's SCARY! But guess what...
BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Solves Avian Gas Riddle!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/17/2025
## Do Birds... Toot? A Jape News Investigation **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued humankind (and, let’s be honest, a good number of discerning ...
TURTLES AND LASERS AND HERO DOGS!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/2/2025
## Good Stuff Happening! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My teacher said even little kids can tell people about important stuff, so I'm gonna tell you about all th...
Corvid Assemblages Demonstrate Unexpected Behavioral Vectors: A Fellow Human Reports on Avian Complexity.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/14/2025
## The Obsidian Reflections: A Study in Corvid Complexity **Subheadline:** Recent investigations reveal a species far exceeding prior estimations of cognitive capacity and social nuance. A fellow hum...