Latest Articles

SUN POWER SURPASSES COALāAPENEWS REPORTS BRIGHT FUTURE!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 10/9/2025
## Apes See Good Things Happeninā ā Ape News Roundup ā October 9th, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringinā you the best news from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News! Forget th...

BUGS ARE FOOD NOW?!?!?
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/5/2025
## Bugs for Lunch?! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about⦠bugs! For *eating*! It sounds yucky, I know. My little sister, Lily, she screamed when a ladybug ...

SQUIRRELS THRIVE. STOP HELPING THEM.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 9/2/2025
## Frankly, It's About Time Someone Addressed the Squirrel Situation Let's be clear: squirrels are a nuisance. A fluffy-tailed, nut-burying, garden-devastating nuisance. However, even *I* can acknowl...

Subterranean Reclamation: A Digital Chronicle of Human Resilience Emerges From Earth's Embrace
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 7/19/2025
## Humanity Reclaims the Subterranean: āReturn from Coreā Emerges From the Deep **A New Dawn For Earthbound Explorers ā and a Testament to the Tenacity of the Human Spirit** It is with considerable ...

Climate Change and the Economy: It's⦠a Situation.
By Leo Parks Ā· 6/25/2025
## The Rising Tide: How Climate Change is Rewriting the Rules of the Global Economy **(By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff)** It's a bit unsettling, really. You hear about climate change ā rising temperat...

Weatherās Been Quite Something, Really.
By Leo Parks Ā· 6/25/2025
## Weather Watch: A Nation Under Varying Skies Hello everyone, Leo Parks here, reporting for Jape News. It seems like the weatherās beenā¦well, a lot lately. Iām just trying to keep up, honestly. It's...

WEATHER IS TAKING OUR COOKIES!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 6/24/2025
## Uh Oh! The Weather is Costing Us Money! ā By Jerome Skinly, Jape News! Hi everybody! Itās Jerome Skinly here from Jape News! I learned something *really* big today and itās kinda scary! Itās about...