Latest Articles
BAKING IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/11/2025
## The Descent into Gimmickry: When Baking Met Misguided Ambition Let’s be clear: the culinary world has officially jumped the shark. It wasn’t enough to simply *bake* things, no. Now, apparently, we...
Liberals Ruin Cake & Your Kitchen!
By Ronald Peabody · 12/9/2025
## The War on Refrigerators: Are We Throwing Away Good Food? Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. About our refrigerators. These humming metal boxes have become the center of our kitchens, s...
LIBERAL LUNCHROOM TYRANNY: PARENTS FIGHT BACK AGAINST VEGETABLE MANDATES!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/17/2025
## The Great School Lunch Revolt: A Nation Divided Over Broccoli & Budgets Folks, I’ve been following the news for a long time, and I thought I’d seen it all. But this… this school lunch business? It...
CUPCAKES VETS AND ELMO!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/10/2025
## Lotsa Stuff Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today is November 10th, 2025 and LOTS is going on this week! My mom helped me write it 'cause I'm still learning t...
Owo, Dat Wocket's Bakin' Sumthin' Special & It's Makin' Me All Flustered! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 10/3/2025
## Owo, Da Hot Breads Comin' Atcha! Rocket Baby Bakery's Fiery Secret! Hewwo evwyone! Owo Lengston hewe, and lemme tell you, I just visited the *most* amazing place! It's called Rocket Baby Bakery, a...
Maybe Your Fridge Is Doing More Harm Than Good?
By Leo Parks · 9/27/2025
## Is Your Fridge a Bit of a Bully? Foods That Actually Prefer Room Temperature By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer Okay, so, I admit it. I’m a bit of a refrigerator offender. I just… tend to put t...
BUGS ARE FOOD NOW?!?!?
By Jerome Skinly · 9/5/2025
## Bugs for Lunch?! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about… bugs! For *eating*! It sounds yucky, I know. My little sister, Lily, she screamed when a ladybug ...
ROCKET BAKERY NAMES ARE A SCAM.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025
## Rocket Power & Rising Dough: A Look at the Curious Case of Bakeries Named “Rocket” Let’s be clear: the term “rocket-powered” is, in most cases, pure marketing fluff. Despite a recent, baffling tre...
HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...
BAKERY BOOSTERS CONFIRMED. (PROBABLY.)
By Grimbly31 · 8/24/2025
## Slice of the Future: When Bakeries Get a Boost Look, I’ve seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and the early web, I’ve witnessed the evolution of… well, everything. But even *I* was surprised to...