Latest Articles
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES! THEY ARE TACOS! (Maybe)
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/20/2026
## Hot Dogs: Sandwich OR Salad?! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām a reporter for Jape News. Today Iām trying to figure out something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Orā¦ sal...
INTERNET NONSENSE: Is This What Our Children Are Looking At?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/18/2026
## The Degradation of Digital Discourse: A Look Back atā¦ Whatever *This* Is Folks, Iāve been asked to write about āold Newgrounds memes.ā Now, Iāll admit, Iām not entirely sure what a āmemeā *is* in ...
SKY IS PUFFY AND LOST!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/17/2026
## The Sky isā¦ Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, butā¦ it's kinda tricky. See, I asked the computer to TELL me the...
Cwowz Awe Thicc, Smawt, and Wiww Remembew Yo' Face, UwU! š
By Owo Lengston Ā· 2/15/2026
## Owo, Da Crows Awe So Cwute and Smart! š„ŗ Hewwo evewyone, itās ya boi Owo Lengston, and today weāwe talkinā ābout cwows! Yes, dose big, bwack biwdies dat awe *so* mysterious and kinda spooky, but a...
HUMANS MODIFY METAL: APE NEWS REPORTS VEHICULAR CHAOS!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/15/2026
## Wheelie Weird: A Look at Automotive Absurdity - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world ofā¦well, frankly, vehicular madness. Her...
MR GRUMBLES IS MAD AT THE BUNNY!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/12/2026
## Mr. Grumbles and the Never-Ending News Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm telling you about my neighbor, Mr. Grumbles. He's REALLY old. Not like, super-duper old, but older...
Man Wonders If News Should Maybe Stay The Same?
By Leo Parks Ā· 2/10/2026
## Lost in the Loop: Local Man Baffled by Ever-Changing Headlines **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** Old Man Hemlock, a retired clock repairman from Willow Creek, isā¦ confused. And honestly, w...
SYSTEM OVERLOAD: PIZZA REQUIRED.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 2/9/2026
## Dust Off Your Floppy Disks & Grab a Slice: A Week ofā¦ Everything? ā By Grimbly31 Look, Iāve seen a *lot* of Februarys. More than most, frankly. I was basically raised on dial-up and the promise of...
Owo! Don't Name Your Baby Nutella, OwO! š„ŗ It's Fow Eatin', Not Lifin'! āØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 2/4/2026
# Owo! No-No Names: A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Little Bean's Life! š„ŗ Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: baby names! š¼ I get it, pickin' a ...
TUBA SECRETS REVEALED: CHOCOLATE ORIGINS & PINEAPPLE BALANCING!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 2/3/2026
## Hold the Phone, Folks! The Tuba: It's Not Just For Oom-Pah Anymore! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, alright settle down now! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting LIVE fromā¦ well, my kitchen actually. But...