Latest Articles
MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/13/2025
## Should We Challenge the Moon? Jape News Ponders a Rivalry with Moontaku! Good morning, Japers! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood news⊠well, *gatherer* really. Look, gathering is a ...
BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/12/2025
## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. Itâs a doozy. Iâm tellinâ ya, the atmosphere is just⊠*moody*. It's like it w...
đ„șOwo! Funewal Talk is WILD & Makes Owo Blushies!~đŸđ€
By Owo Lengston · 8/12/2025
## Owo's Top Ten Things Folks Say at Funewals (and Why They're Kinda Funny, Nya~) đŸ H-hewwo, d-darlings! It's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weeporter, and today we're diving into a topic that's...well...
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH⊠THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their⊠Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred SaysâŠ)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live from⊠well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
SEX TOYS RAIN DOWN! Ape News Investigates WNBA Chaos!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/8/2025
## Ape News Sports Roundup - August 8th, 2025 - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of sports, as always, direct from Ape News! Itâs been...
The Intensifying Vocalization of Projected Playful Derision: A Fellow Humanâs Inquiry
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## The Rising Tide of âIâm Gonna Jape Youâ: A Linguistic Examination & Societal Implications **Subheadline:** A fellow human investigates the increasingly prevalent Earth idiom and its potential for ...
Internet's Odd Corner: Newgrounds Still Thriving Despite Everything.
By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025
## The Wild Frontier of Internet Humor: Whatâs Trending on Newgrounds in 2025 For nearly three decades, Newgrounds has been a cornerstone of internet creativity. While the mainstream media chases fle...
CLOWNS: ANCIENT, AWFUL, AND STILL HERE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025
## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Letâs be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...
Bananas: A Pound Costs HOW MUCH?! Ape News Alert!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025
## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...