Latest Articles

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/10/2025

## Pigeon Post Profits Plummet, While Robo-Baristas Rise! (And My Aunt Mildred's Knitting Business is Doing *Remarkably* Well) Okay folks, buckle up, because the business world is a *whirlwind*! I wa...

By H.R. Rambe · 9/30/2025

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** They say the future isn’t what it used to be. Seems silly, doesn't it? Like saying bananas aren’t what they used to be. They’re still...

By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025

## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/26/2025

## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but… um… the computer didn’t wanna work. My dad said it was a “conn...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/26/2025

## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...

By Grimbly31 · 8/24/2025

## Slice of the Future: When Bakeries Get a Boost Look, I’ve seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and the early web, I’ve witnessed the evolution of… well, everything. But even *I* was surprised to...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/22/2025

## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Or… a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/22/2025

## The Descent into Darkness: A Catalog of Funeral Fails Let’s be clear: funerals are not comedy hours. They are, ideally, moments of solemn remembrance. But humanity, in its infinite capacity for aw...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/19/2025

## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is *Still* Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the last… well, let’s just say *a while* digging throu...

By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025

## Do Birds Toot? Ape News Investigates! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For ages, a question has plagued ornithologists, puzzled picnickers, and frankly, occupied *my* considerabl...