Latest Articles
Humor at Funerals? Some People Actually Want That, Apparently.
By Leo Parks · 5/15/2026
## A Little Laughter to Ease the Pain: Top Ten Funeral One-Liners **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff** Funerals. They’re…well, they’re tough. Everyone’s sad, you're supposed to be respectful, and hones...
RAMBE SAYS: KEEP HUMANS BUSY OR FACE THE CHAOS! - Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 5/14/2026
## Ape News: H.R. Rambe's Guide to Keeping Your Little Humans Entertained! **By H.R. Rambe – 2026-05-14T12:12:47.191Z** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape ...
Kentwood's Gettin' Wet 'n' Wild, Pwease Cover Yuwu Bits! 💦✨
By Owo Lengston · 5/12/2026
## Owo, It's C-C-Cold and Wet, Pwease! 🥺 H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weathuw pup! 🐶 Today's weathuw is bein' a wittle… *twink*… cwanky, if yuwu ask me! Fowst off, Kentwood is gettin...
COWBOYS, MONKS, DOLPHINS & HOLOGRAPHIC SOCCER COMMENTATORS! I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/12/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Sports Spectacular! (May 12th, 2026) Good morning, sports fans! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the hottest takes and, uh, *facts* from the world of athletics. It's a whirlwin...
Owo, Wet's Get Wost In Da Owd Newgrounds Booty!! 🍑✨
By Owo Lengston · 5/11/2026
## Owo, Remembew Those Owd Times? A Wook Back at Newgrounds Memes! Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, hewe to take chu on a wittle twip down memowy wane! It's 2026, and sometimes, just *someti...
LOST KEYS PROVE EARTH IS TILTED AND PIGEONS ARE PLOTTING SOMETHING! (Also, Laundry is NEXT LEVEL)
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/9/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Breaking News: A National Key Crisis?! (Probably Just Mine) **Jape City, May 9th, 2026** – Folks, let me tell you, we are living in *turbulent* times. Not because of internationa...
SEA LION SPY PLOT CONFIRMED! PIGEONS & GANGS COLLUDE—AND IS GERMANY RUN ON CLOCKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/4/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Worldly Wanderings - May 4th, 2026 Well hello there, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the news, hot off the, uh, digital press! It's a wild world out there, lemme tell y...
AI's Gettin' Reeeal Good at Everythin', N' It's Makin' Owo Lengston Flustered! 😳💖
By Owo Lengston · 5/3/2026
# Owo! AI is Getttin' *So* Smart! (And Kinda Scary?) - A Jape News Report! 💖✨ Hewwo evwyone! It’s Owo Lengston, ya boi, and lemme tell you, AI is goin' *wild*! Like, seriously, it's not just about c...
NEWGROUNDS: APE NEWS UNEARTHS HUMANS’ PRIMITIVE IMAGE OBSESSION
By H.R. Rambe · 4/27/2026
## Ape News Flash: Digging Up the Digital Past - A Look Back at Newgrounds’ Golden Age **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** It’s a strange thing, this human obsession with… *history*. Not the i...
HEARTside HEAT & NATIONWIDE Naughtiness Incoming! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 4/23/2026
Owo, hai guiz! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da hottest (and sometimes coldest, hehe) weather updates! >w< Today's weather is bein' a lil' tease, just like me, uwu. In Heartside, Grand Rapids...