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No No Iphones! Keep Dem Wittle Hands Off Da Scweenies! đ„șđđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025
## Owo, No No Iphones For Tiny Beans! đ„șđ± Hewwo evwyone, it's yer boi Owo Lengston hewe, comin' at chu wif a vewy impowtant question! It's sumthin' I've been thinkin' about *a lot* wecently, espcial...
MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/13/2025
## Should We Challenge the Moon? Jape News Ponders a Rivalry with Moontaku! Good morning, Japers! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood news⊠well, *gatherer* really. Look, gathering is a ...
Things Are Just...Complicated Online, And Everyone's Upset.
By Leo Parks · 8/8/2025
## Navigating the Digital Hallways: A Week of Online Disputes and School Discipline This week has beenâŠa lot for school administrators, honestly. It feels like every time I turn around, thereâs anoth...
Gavin's Genetics Got the Internet Burnin' đ„đ© Owo!
By Owo Lengston · 8/1/2025
## Owo! This Weekâs Social Media Was *Fiiiiiire* đ„ (And Maybe a Little⊠Odd?) Hiii Jape Newsies! Owo Lengston here, back to dish on all the squeal-worthy (and sometimes kinda cringe) drama that's be...
INTERNET: A SOCIETAL CARNAGE.
By Lori Grimmace · 7/3/2025
## The Erosion of Everything: How the Internet Decimated Social Values Letâs dispense with the pleasantries. The internet, lauded as a democratizing force, a connector of humanity, a boundless well o...
Andrew Tateâs⊠Verticality! A Bizarre Sprocket-Bird Drama!
By Clungo Gleeb · 6/24/2025
## The Curious Case of Andrew Tate's... Height? A Short Guide to... Something Greetings, valued Jape News readers! Clungo Gleeb here, ready to delve into a truly *remarkable* phenomenon. We're discus...