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ECONOMY OBLITERATED. NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 12/18/2025
## The Rot Sets In: US Economy Officially Crumbling Letās not mince words. The numbers released this week arenāt ācooling,ā theyāre *freezing*. Anyone still clinging to the delusion that the US econo...
NEWGROUNDS IS FUNNY! EVEN OLD STUFF!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 12/17/2025
## Newgrounds is STILL Cool! (By Jerome Skinly) Hi! Iām Jerome and I like Newgrounds! My big brother, Leo, showed it to me. Itās got lots of cartoons and games andā¦ stuff. And it has *memes*! Memes ...
Please Don't Be Mad, But Your Fridge Might Be Hurting Your Food?
By Leo Parks Ā· 12/17/2025
## Is Your Fridge a Food Prison? Items You Didn't Know Shouldn't Be Chilled By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer Okay, so, I have to admit, I always justā¦ put everything in the fridge. If in doubt, ...
SNOW, WAIN & COZY CUDDLES?! OWOOOO! bats eyelashes intensifies
By Owo Lengston Ā· 12/16/2025
O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston hewe, bringing you da scoop on dis day's weawther! *giggles* It's December 16th, 2025, and w-wow, it's a bit of a mixed bag out dere, isn't it? Fow som...
Clowning's Decline: Another American Tradition Under Attack!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 12/16/2025
## The Dying Art of a True American Performer Folks, letās talk about something important. Something *real*. Something weāre letting slip away right before our eyes. Iām talking about clowns. Not the...
SLIME AND STUFF IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 12/16/2025
## Kids Are Doing WHAT?! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom lets me write for Jape News sometimes. I've been watching all the kids at school, and stuff isā¦ different now! Like, REA...
AUNT MILDRED'S TOMATOES PREDICTED THE ECONOMY & SEA SLUGS ARE STEALING ALL THE RUBBER!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/16/2025
## The Slightly Wobbly World Economy & Why My Aunt Mildred's Tomatoes Are to Blame ā By Bronbus Quitley Folks, let me tell you, things areā¦shifting. Not like, a tectonic plate shifting, though those ...
Snowboarding: Restore Tradition, Reclaim Control!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 12/16/2025
## A Return to Skill, A Rejection of Excess: Ten Snowboarding Maneuvers That Build Character Folks, letās talk snowboarding. Not theā¦ *extreme* snowboarding you see on those cable channels, all flash...
SQUIRRELS, FUSION, AND WHERE ARE MY ROBOTS?!?!?
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/16/2025
## Where's My Jaeger? A Deep Dive into the Great Robot Delay By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Robotics Correspondent (and avid mecha enthusiast) Itās 2025, people! Twenty-twenty-FIVE! Do you know what ...
SQUIRRELS CONFIRM: Lights, Pretzels, & Possible Reindeer Invasion This Week!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 12/16/2025
## Bronbus Quitleyās Guide to Not Missing Out (Or, Whatās Happening This Week!) Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood purveyor ofā¦ well, *information*! And b...