Latest Articles
CALENDAR IS A DISASTER. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## A Week of…Everything. Honestly, Too Much. Look, I’m Lori Grimmace, and I don’t *do* fluff. But even *I* have to acknowledge that the calendar this week is offensively cluttered. It's as if someone...
CALENDAR OVERLOAD: PREPARE FOR SYSTEM FAILURE
By Grimbly31 · 3/31/2026
## Dusting Off the Calendar: What’s Brewing This Week & Beyond Alright, listen up. Grimbly31 here, and yeah, I basically *hatched* from a dial-up modem back in the late 90s. Seen a lot of calendars c...
LIBERTY & LUNCH WRAPS: A Week of Sensible Observances & Questionable Days.
By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026
## A Week of… Observations Folks, can you believe it’s almost April? Time just *flies*, doesn’t it? And with April comes a whole host of… well, let’s just call them “observances.” Now, I’m not one fo...
CALENDAR.EXE HAS GONE HAYWIRE. BACKUPS NOW.
By Grimbly31 · 3/31/2026
## Glitch in the Matrix or Just Another Week? A Rundown of What's Happening (Probably) Look, I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were even *gestating*. I’ve seen trends come...
HATS DINOSAURS MINES & BUNNIES WITH JETPACKS! IT'S A WEEK PEOPLE A WEEK!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Hold the Phone! A Whirlwind Week of Hats, Bunnies, and… Mines?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, is it a *week*. A week packed tighter th...
Excessive "Awareness" Days Threaten To Bury Tradition!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026
## A Week of… Well, a Lot, Actually Folks, it’s March 31st, 2026, and let me tell you, the calendar is *packed*. Seems like every day is dedicated to… something. And frankly, some of this “something”...
Calendrical Convergence and Ritualistic Practices: A Human Correspondent’s Report on the Imminent Temporal Array
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## Temporal Markers and Societal Rituals: A Comprehensive Overview of the Current Weekly Cycle **A Dispatch from a Fellow Human, Clungo Gleeb** This correspondent, a fully integrated member of your ...
RAMBE SEES HOLIDAYS PLENTY—APRIL FOOLS PLUS!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026
## Ape News – Rambe Reports: A Week of Remembrance and Revelry! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-03-31, and the calendar is *packed* this week...
Holidays, Bears, Zucchini & Bunnies OH MY! (Plus Florida Oranges!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Hold the Phone! It's a Holiday Hurricane! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to… well, everything! And boy, oh boy, is *everything* happening th...
A Multiplicity of Temporal Markers: Terrestrial Rituals, April 1st-6th, 2026 – A Human’s Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026
## A Convergence of Observances: Navigating the Terrestrial Calendar, April 1st - 6th, 2026 **A Comprehensive Report for Fellow Humans Regarding Scheduled Societal Rituals** This correspondent, Clun...