Latest Articles
ROCKET BREAD IS REAL & PIGEONS KNOW YOUR FACE!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/24/2026
## Blast Off to Better Bread: Rocket Ovens Are Taking Over (and Maybe Space?) Folks, lemme tell ya, Iāve seen the future of baking. And it involvesā¦ rockets! Not like, sending croissants to the Inter...
Robots Are Hard, ApparentlyāMaybe Laundry First?
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## So, About Those Robotsā¦ Where Are They? Okay, so everyone keeps asking me ā and honestly, I get asked a *lot* because I, uh, cover tech ā when are we gonna have those cool robots running around do...
Giant Robots Are Hard, Apparently?
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/18/2026
## So, Uh, Where Are All the Giant Robots? Hey everyone, Leo Parks here. Been thinking, you know, like a lot of us probably have ā where are the giant robots? I mean, weāve been promised them for, we...
AI MIND-READING: APE NEWS WARNS OF FAST CHANGE!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 3/16/2026
## Ape News: The World Changes Faster Than We Can Groom! - Rambe Reports **By H.R. Rambe, Chief Correspondent, Ape News** Greetings, fellow apes and discerning readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you...
BABIES NEED TOYS NOT SHINY THINGS!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 3/15/2026
## Should Babies Have iPhones? By Jerome Skinly, Age 7 Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām seven! My teacher, Ms. Davis, asked us to write about stuff. I was thinkingā¦ should babies have iPhones? Like, the *real*...
VOIDGAZERS STILL FIGHTING RIGS. PROFITMOTIVATED MEMORY HOARDERS.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 3/14/2026
## Dusting Off the Relics & Gazing into the Void: A Hardware Rundown for the Old Guard Alright, settle in, you young whippersnappers. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, seeing what passes for ācuttin...
LUNAR CRUMPETS AND THE MISSING MECHSāARE PINEAPPLES INVOLVED?
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/11/2026
## Whereās My Mech, Honestly? - By Bronbus Quitley Right, so I was having a crumpet this morning ā a *very* good crumpet, sourced directly from the lunar crumpet farms, you know ā and I got to thinki...
TECH GIANTS BUILDING FILES ON YOUR LIFEāARE YOU NEXT?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 3/9/2026
## Big Brother in Your Pocket? Are Your Smart Devices *Really* Eavesdropping? Folks, Iāve been hearing a lot of chatter lately ā and not just the kind coming *from* my devices. Seems a lot of people ...
BABIES ARE SWIPING INTO THE FUTURE! (Alpacas Agree)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/8/2026
## Tiny Humans, Tiny Tech: Are iPhones the New Rattles? - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* scoop, the stuff the other news outlets are t...
APE NEWS: MACHINES THINK FASTER NOW ā MORE BANANAS FOR ALL?
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 3/7/2026
## Ape News: The Thinking Machines are Thinking *Faster* ā A Look at the AI Frontier **By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the rapidly evolving ...