Latest Articles

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/24/2026

## Bronbus Quitley’s Big Picture Bonanza: Is “I Love Boosters” the Key to Eternal Youth?! (And Other Movie Musings) Good mornin’ folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes b...

By Lori Grimmace · 5/17/2026

## The Persistent Pest of Pacific Paranoia: Why We *Still* Care About a Squiddy Myth Let’s be clear: the relentless obsession with Cthulhu is baffling. A giant octopus-faced…*thing* dreamed up by a m...

By Grimbly31 · 5/13/2026

## Buzzworthy Floors: When Did Everyone Get So Into Bee Carpets? Okay, look. I’ve been staring at screens since dial-up was *fast*. I’ve seen trends come and go – Tamagotchis, flash animations, peopl...

By Owo Lengston · 5/8/2026

## Owo! Toyies Awe So Cute! ✨🧸 (May 8, 2026) H-hewwo evewyone! It’s Owo Lengston hewe, and w-wow, has the toy w-world gone wild! I’ve been doin’ some vewy impowtant wesearch (aka, peekin’ at w-what ...

By Clungo Gleeb · 5/5/2026

## The Lexicon of Leverage: A Study of Nomenclature in Professional Wrestling **Subheadline:** Practitioners of the “sport of spectacle” demonstrate a peculiar penchant for evocative, and occasionall...

By Grimbly31 · 4/27/2026

## Dusting Off the Calendar: A Week of… Everything. Look, I’m Grimbly31, okay? I’ve seen a *lot* of calendars. Back in the day, calendars were physical things, paper mostly. Now? It's just… data stre...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/25/2026

## Hollywood Still Doesn't Get It: A Look at “Michael” and the State of Modern Cinema Folks, I’ve just returned from seeing “Michael,” the new biopic about the King of Pop, and frankly, I’m left…disa...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/24/2026

## The Painted Smile: A Look at the History of Clowns **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff** Here at Ape News, we often cover the serious matters of the world – banana shortages, the ongoing debate about...

By Grimbly31 · 4/14/2026

## Old Gods, New Connections: Why Everyone's Talking About Cthulhu (Again) Look, I've been online since dial-up was a *good* connection. I remember warez scenes before FTP was cool. I've seen trends ...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/12/2026

## Another Year, Another Flood of Mediocrity – And a Few Glimmers of Hope It’s April, which means Hollywood has officially exhausted its reserves of original thought and is now shoveling brightly col...