Latest Articles

By Grimbly31 · 4/27/2026

## Dusting Off the Calendar: A Week of… Everything. Look, I’m Grimbly31, okay? I’ve seen a *lot* of calendars. Back in the day, calendars were physical things, paper mostly. Now? It's just… data stre...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/25/2026

## Hollywood Still Doesn't Get It: A Look at “Michael” and the State of Modern Cinema Folks, I’ve just returned from seeing “Michael,” the new biopic about the King of Pop, and frankly, I’m left…disa...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/24/2026

## The Painted Smile: A Look at the History of Clowns **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff** Here at Ape News, we often cover the serious matters of the world – banana shortages, the ongoing debate about...

By Grimbly31 · 4/14/2026

## Old Gods, New Connections: Why Everyone's Talking About Cthulhu (Again) Look, I've been online since dial-up was a *good* connection. I remember warez scenes before FTP was cool. I've seen trends ...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/12/2026

## Another Year, Another Flood of Mediocrity – And a Few Glimmers of Hope It’s April, which means Hollywood has officially exhausted its reserves of original thought and is now shoveling brightly col...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/7/2026

## A History of Honks and Horror: The Enduring Enigma of the Clown **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** 2026-04-07 – For millennia, they’ve tumbled, tripped, and teased. They’ve sparked joy, ins...

By Jerome Skinly · 4/7/2026

## Super Mario is…Okay? By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I went to see a movie! It was the new Mario movie! The one with, like, all the stars? It's called *The Super Mario Galaxy Movie* and it was...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/6/2026

## Ape News: A Week of Celebrations – From Felines to Fine Ales! **By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown on all the noteworthy events unfolding this w...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/6/2026

## Ape News Roundup: A Week of Remembrance, Recreation & Refreshments! - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-04-06, and a busy week...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026

## Hold the Mayo! It’s a Whirlwind of Weirdness This Week! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, is it a *week*. My Aunt Mildred – she raises pri...