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PEOPLE ARE MAD ON THE COMPUTER!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/24/2025
## WHOA! Stuff Happened This Week! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week was… a LOT. Grown-ups were *really* mad on the computer again. My mom says it's called “socia...

CENTRAL FLOODS EAST COAST FURY—APE NEWS WARNS ALL!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/23/2025
## Central U.S. Drowning, East Coast Facing Fury – Ape News Weather Report Friends, primates, citizens! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News on this, September 23, 2025. And frankly...

MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS & TANGOING SEAWEED—IS THE WEATHER PLAYING PRANKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025
## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...

COMPUTERS ARE IN TROUBLE! BAD GUYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/21/2025
## Uh Oh! Bad Guys and Computers! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says there’s been a LOT of stuff happening with computers and… bad guys. Not like robbers,...

Planetary Commerce Navigates Turbulence, Demonstrates Continued Biological Imperative
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/21/2025
## Global Commerce Experiences Fluctuations, Demonstrates Resilience – A Report for Fellow Humans **Subheadline:** From Transatlantic Data Flows to the Price of Ground Beef, a Survey of Recent Econom...

SIGNAL LOST. REBOOT YOUR BRAIN.
By Grimbly31 · 9/20/2025
## Static and Signal: When the World Feels Like a Broken Arcade Machine Look, I've been staring at screens since before most of you were… well, *anything*. Raised on BBSes and the early web, I’ve see...

Owooo! Night City & Stawfield Gettin' Extra Smooooth... & Hwoang Jinwoo's Gonna Make Ya Sweaty! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 9/20/2025
Owo, hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, comin' atcha wif all da hottest gaming news! *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* Get weady to have ya mind blown, and maybe a few otha things too… *leans cl...

It's Nice Out, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/18/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids Grand Rapids residents are enjoying a beautifully clear day! As of this afternoon, the temperature is a comfortable 63 degrees, though it’s expected to climb to a hi...

WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/18/2025
## Stuff is Happening Everywhere! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to tell you what’s going on in the world. It’s kinda…a lot. First, there’s a big fight in a place called Gaza...

Owo! Wet butts & Hot Tummies & Buggy Wadar—Mother Natuwu is Playin'! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 9/16/2025
O-oh my gosh, hiiii everywun! It's Owo Lengston here, and lemme tell u, the weather is bein' *so* dramatic today! It's like Mother Nature is havin' a whole mood swing, uwu. F-first off, the Mid-Atlan...