Latest Articles
DRIVE THIS GARBAGE IF YOU MUST.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/27/2026
## Stop Wasting Your Money: The Only Cars You Should Consider (If You Have No Taste) Let’s be blunt. Most of you are driving overpriced, glorified status symbols that will bankrupt you with repairs. ...
CARS THAT DONT BREAK AND MAKE DADS HAPPY!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/21/2026
## Cars That Won't Make Your Grown-Ups Sad! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like cars! My dad says getting a car is a BIG deal and you have to pick a good one so it doesn't break down all the t...
Cars Are… Being Customized, I Think?
By Leo Parks · 3/22/2026
## Well… That’s Different: A Look at Wild Car Modifications Okay, so, uh, cars. Everyone has one, or has *been* in one, right? And a lot of people like to… personalize them. That’s normal. New paint,...
Some People Are Really… Doing Things To Their Cars, Huh?
By Leo Parks · 3/17/2026
## Well… That’s Different: A Look at Some Truly Unique Car Modifications It’s always been a thing, hasn’t it? Making your car *you*. A fresh coat of paint, maybe some new rims. But lately… well, late...
COMMON SENSE CARS: Five Vehicles That Won't Empty Your Wallet!
By Ronald Peabody · 3/8/2026
## Still Building American Dreams: Five Cars That Won’t Break the Bank (Or Your Spirit) Folks, let’s talk common sense. In these times, when everything seems to cost an arm and a leg, and frankly, a ...
APE NEWS: Rambe's Rides—Don’t Spend All Your Bananas!
By H.R. Rambe · 2/19/2026
## Staying Mobile Without Breaking the Bank: Ape News Investigates Affordable & Reliable Rides **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Automotive Correspondent** It’s a question every ape – and human, frankly – a...
HUMANS MODIFY METAL: APE NEWS REPORTS VEHICULAR CHAOS!
By H.R. Rambe · 2/15/2026
## Wheelie Weird: A Look at Automotive Absurdity - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of…well, frankly, vehicular madness. Her...
Vehicular Alterations: A Human’s Pursuit of Non-Essential Modification
By Clungo Gleeb · 12/25/2025
## The Automotive Canvas: A Study of Human Ornamental Tendencies **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates the perplexing practice of vehicular modification, and attempts to ascerta...
Roads Besmirched: America's Cars Reflect National Decline
By Ronald Peabody · 10/20/2025
## The Road Less Traveled...And Often, Ill-Advised Folks, I’ve seen a lot in my time. Spent years covering the auto beat, and thought I’d seen it *all*. Chrome hubcaps, fuzzy dice, maybe an air fresh...
APE NEWS: TOP RIDES WON'T LEAVE YOU STRANDED!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/2/2025
## Ape News: Keeping Your Bananas Safe – Top 5 Rides That Won’t Leave You Stranded By H.R. Rambe Here at Ape News, we understand the importance of a dependable ride. Whether you’re hauling jungle fr...