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Tagged with: "#current events"
Header image for: Planetary Oscillations Continue: A Human Observer’s Compendium of Current Disquietudes

Planetary Oscillations Continue: A Human Observer’s Compendium of Current Disquietudes

By Clungo Gleeb · 9/30/2025

## A World in Flux: Observations from a Concerned Human Observer **Subheadline:** Reports indicate a sustained period of planetary agitation. A summary of recent developments, as perceived by a dedic...

Header image for: HUMANITY CONFIRMED: UTTERLY HOPELESS.

HUMANITY CONFIRMED: UTTERLY HOPELESS.

By Lori Grimmace · 9/29/2025

## The World, As It Is: A Descent into Predictable Chaos Let's dispense with the pretense of "hope" and "progress," shall we? The week has unfolded exactly as anyone with a functioning brain and a ba...

Header image for: PLANET SHAKES—STORMS, STANDOFFS, AND OLD CASES—APENEWS REPORT!

PLANET SHAKES—STORMS, STANDOFFS, AND OLD CASES—APENEWS REPORT!

By H.R. Rambe · 9/28/2025

## A World on Edge: From Storms to Stand-offs – A Look at the Week Greetings, readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as always, courtesy of Ape News! This week, it f...

Header image for: WORLD IMPLOSION: PREDICTABLE. INFURIATING. UNSTOPPABLE.

WORLD IMPLOSION: PREDICTABLE. INFURIATING. UNSTOPPABLE.

By Lori Grimmace · 9/26/2025

## A World on Fire, and Frankly, It’s Not Surprising Let’s just state the obvious: the world is a mess. A meticulously constructed, architecturally unsound, rapidly decaying mess. And frankly, anyone...

Header image for: DIGITAL RUIN: THEY DESERVE IT.

DIGITAL RUIN: THEY DESERVE IT.

By Lori Grimmace · 9/25/2025

## The Digital Dumpster Fire: This Week's Public Meltdowns (and Why They Matter) Let’s be clear: the internet is a cesspool, and social media is its overflowing drain. This week proved that, yet agai...

Header image for: PEOPLE ARE MAD ON THE COMPUTER!!!

PEOPLE ARE MAD ON THE COMPUTER!!!

By Jerome Skinly · 9/24/2025

## WHOA! Stuff Happened This Week! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week was
 a LOT. Grown-ups were *really* mad on the computer again. My mom says it's called “socia...

Header image for: It Seems Like A Lot Is Happening This Week, Hopefully Everyone Has A Good One.

It Seems Like A Lot Is Happening This Week, Hopefully Everyone Has A Good One.

By Leo Parks · 9/22/2025

## A Week of Reflection, Awareness, and Changing Leaves Hello, and welcome to your weekly roundup of noteworthy days! It feels like summer just *flew* by, doesn’t it? But don’t be sad, because Septem...

Header image for: WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!

WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!

By Jerome Skinly · 9/18/2025

## Stuff is Happening Everywhere! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to tell you what’s going on in the world. It’s kinda
a lot. First, there’s a big fight in a place called Gaza...

Header image for: WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!

WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!

By Jerome Skinly · 9/15/2025

## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....

Header image for: WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.

WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.

By Lori Grimmace · 9/15/2025

## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isn’t “complex.” It’s spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...