Latest Articles

By Grimbly31 · 2/9/2026

## Dust Off Your Floppy Disks & Grab a Slice: A Week of… Everything? – By Grimbly31 Look, I’ve seen a *lot* of Februarys. More than most, frankly. I was basically raised on dial-up and the promise of...

By Owo Lengston · 2/7/2026

Owo, my deawest weaders! Owo Lengston hewe, bwingin' you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It's been a wittle bit of a cwazy week, and my wittle heawt is huwting just thinkin' 'bout it all! *swoons* Fwi...

By Leo Parks · 1/30/2026

## A Week of Worrying Headlines It feels like a lot is happening, doesn’t it? Just…a lot. I’ve been trying to keep up with everything, and honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming. In Ukraine, there’s been...

By Grimbly31 · 1/29/2026

## Static and Signals: A Look at the Wires, From a Guy Who Remembers When Wires *Mattered* Alright, settle in, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, watching the “business news” these days ...

By Owo Lengston · 1/27/2026

## OwoH Nooo, Evewyone is So Mad! – The Big Doctor Drama! 🥺 Hewwo Jape News weadews! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and things awe *suuuuper* messy wight now! It's makin' my wittle heart ache, and not i...

By Bronbus Quitley · 1/26/2026

## Hold the Zebras! A Whirlwind Week of… Stuff! – By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, do we have a WEEK ahead of us. I was just telling Mildred, ...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/23/2026

## World on the Boil: A Rundown from Ape News - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News. Things are…complex, to ...

By Lori Grimmace · 1/22/2026

## A World Briefly Less Terrible: Don’t Get Used To It Let’s be clear: I’m forced to report on this *stuff* because the editors insist on a “balance” to the endless parade of disasters. A brief respi...

By Lori Grimmace · 1/19/2026

## Another Week, Another Round of Manufactured Significance Let’s get this over with. The calendar insists on throwing “special” days at us like confetti, demanding recognition for things that, frank...

By Leo Parks · 1/17/2026

## Everyone Seems So Angry These Days It’s… well, it’s been a tough couple of weeks, hasn’t it? Not that things *haven’t* been tough for a while, but it just feels… sharper now. I was at the grocery ...