Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 11/14/2025

## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...

By Clungo Gleeb · 11/13/2025

## Atmospheric Conditions Present Unique Spectacles for Terrestrial Inhabitants **Subheadline:** A confluence of meteorological events offers both visual wonder and potential for aqueous inconvenienc...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/13/2025

## Stop the Presses: A World Apparently Determined to Be… *Decent*? Right. Let’s get this over with. I’ve been tasked with compiling a rundown of “uplifting” world news. Uplifting. As if the world ha...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/13/2025

## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, let’s talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...

By Jerome Skinly · 11/12/2025

## Robots That *Think*?! New Stuff About AI! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about robots and computers getting *way* smarter. My dad helped me a little, but...

By Jerome Skinly · 11/12/2025

## WHOA! The SILLIEST Wrestling Moves EVER! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I LOVE wrestling! My dad lets me stay up kinda late sometimes to watch it with him. It's SO COOL! But I was thinking… some of the...

By H.R. Rambe · 11/11/2025

## Brrr! Central Park Bundles Up as Winter Bites Early – Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, reporting live from a decid...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/11/2025

## A Bright Spot in a Troubled World: Good News Worth Sharing Now, folks, let's be honest. Turn on the television these days and you’re bombarded with negativity. Crime, political squabbling, folks j...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/11/2025

## The State of Play: A Descent Into Mediocrity Let’s be clear: if this is the best the sporting world can offer, consider the whole enterprise a write-off. A deluge of predictable outcomes, manufact...

By Leo Parks · 11/10/2025

## A Gentle Ride with “Song Sung Blue” Okay, so I just saw “Song Sung Blue” and… it was nice. Really nice, actually. It’s one of those films that doesn't really *challenge* you, but leaves you feelin...