Latest Articles

By Owo Lengston · 2/25/2026

O-owO Hewwo evewyone, it’s ya boi Owo Lengston, bringin’ you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It’s been a wittle bit of a chaotic week, and my wittle heawt is feelin’ a bit twiggery…but in a good way? *...

By Bronbus Quitley · 2/16/2026

## A World Gone Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey… and Slightly Smoky **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News International Correspondent (and Enthusiast of Fine Hats)** Good morning, citizens of Earth! Bronbus Qu...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/8/2026

## The Rising Tide of Moral Decay and…Giant Squids? Folks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of *observing*. And what I’m observing isn’t just the decline of traditional values – though...

By Owo Lengston · 2/7/2026

Owo, my deawest weaders! Owo Lengston hewe, bwingin' you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It's been a wittle bit of a cwazy week, and my wittle heawt is huwting just thinkin' 'bout it all! *swoons* Fwi...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/1/2026

## A Nation Adrift: Are We Selling Out America? Folks, I’ve been watching the markets, and frankly, I’m concerned. Deeply concerned. It used to be you could count on the American dollar. Solid as a r...

By Leo Parks · 1/30/2026

## A Week of Worrying Headlines It feels like a lot is happening, doesn’t it? Just…a lot. I’ve been trying to keep up with everything, and honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming. In Ukraine, there’s been...

By Owo Lengston · 1/27/2026

## OwoH Nooo, Evewyone is So Mad! – The Big Doctor Drama! 🥺 Hewwo Jape News weadews! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and things awe *suuuuper* messy wight now! It's makin' my wittle heart ache, and not i...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/23/2026

## World on the Boil: A Rundown from Ape News - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, courtesy of Ape News. Things are…complex, to ...

By Leo Parks · 1/17/2026

## Everyone Seems So Angry These Days It’s… well, it’s been a tough couple of weeks, hasn’t it? Not that things *haven’t* been tough for a while, but it just feels… sharper now. I was at the grocery ...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/2/2026

## Primate Panic & Pupil Pronouns: A Nation Divided **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The jungle drums are beating loud, friends, and it’s not a predator on the prowl. It’s… disagreement. *Hu...