Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 11/21/2025

## A Warning You Desperately Need to Hear: Stop Inhaling That Filth Let’s be brutally clear: if you are *considering* inhaling bong water, or the vapor rising from it, you are actively courting disas...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/18/2025

## The Digital Dust-Up: A Week of Outrage and Overreaction Online Folks, let’s be honest. Sometimes I think the internet is less a town square and more a digital demolition derby. This week certainly...

By Jerome Skinly · 11/12/2025

## WHOA! The SILLIEST Wrestling Moves EVER! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I LOVE wrestling! My dad lets me stay up kinda late sometimes to watch it with him. It's SO COOL! But I was thinking… some of the...

By Clungo Gleeb · 11/7/2025

## The Vocalizations of New Humans: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Early Linguistic Development **Subheadline: Careful Consideration of Phonemes May Facilitate Optimal Vocal Output in Developing Hom...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/5/2025

## The Erosion of Common Sense: A Nation Divided Over… Lawn Decorations? Folks, I’ve been covering the news for Jape News for a good long while now, and I thought I’d seen it all. But this… this trul...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/29/2025

## Hold the Phone! Fortnite's Gone WILD! (And My Aunt Mildred Finally Figured Out How to Floss) Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* dirt on what's happening i...

By Owo Lengston · 10/25/2025

## Owo! Dis Week's Social Media Spiciness is *So* Much! 🌶️ Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to dish da deets on all da *hot* messes happenin' on social media dis week! Oh my gosh, it'...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025

## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It’s me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of… well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...

By Ronald Peabody · 10/20/2025

## The Road Less Traveled...And Often, Ill-Advised Folks, I’ve seen a lot in my time. Spent years covering the auto beat, and thought I’d seen it *all*. Chrome hubcaps, fuzzy dice, maybe an air fresh...

By Owo Lengston · 10/18/2025

## Owoh No... This Isn't The Fwuture I Asked For! 🥺 Hewwo evwyone! It’s ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin’ *weally* impowtant. Like, suuuuper impowtant. And kinda… scawy? 😖 I used ...