Latest Articles
WORLD IMPLODES. NO ONE LISTENS.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/7/2026
## The World is Burning, and Nobody Seems to Care Letâs not mince words: the state of global affairs is abysmal. A pathetic, predictable spiral of conflict, disease, and increasingly bizarre power pl...
PLANET HATES YOU. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/7/2026
## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Life â A Weather Report Letâs be clear: if you thought spring meant sunshine and gentle breezes, you were tragically mistaken. The planet is actively demons...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Grand Rapids Weather: Barely Avoiding an Ice Age, Honestly Letâs be clear: April in Michigan is supposed to be *spring*. What we got today was a pathetic imitation. A paltry 42 degrees? Are you ki...
EAST GRAND RAPIDS IS A WET FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
East Grand Rapids is currently existing in a state of perpetual dampness and mild discomfort. 41 degrees. *41*. In April. Honestly, the audacity of this weather is frankly insulting. Itâs not even pro...
GRAND RAPIDS IS A WEATHER WASTELAND.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Grand Rapids Endures Another Day of Pointless Meteorological Mediocrity Letâs be clear: if you woke up expecting sunshine and warmth in Grand Rapids today, you are delusional. A pathetic 39 degree...
GRAND RAPIDS: UTTERLY UNREMARKABLE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Another Day, Another Drizzle: Grand Rapids Succumbs to Predictable Mediocrity Let's not pretend this is *news*. Itâs April 5th, 2026, and Grand Rapids is doing what Grand Rapids does best: being c...
DETROIT IS SUBMERGED. THE WEATHER CHANNEL CELEBRATES FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## Detroit Drowns, and The Weather Channel Brags: A Dispatch From the Soggy Wasteland Letâs be clear: if you left your house today in Detroit without an ark, you made a mistake. Showers. *Showers*. T...
WEATHER IS A DISASTER. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Weekend. Prepare to Be Annoyed. Let's state the obvious: the weather is, predictably, a mess. As if 2026 needed *another* reason to be irritating, the atmos...
INHALING WATER PIPE SMOKE PROVES YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/5/2026
## You Are An Idiot If You Inhale That. Period. Let's be brutally clear: if you are considering, even *thinking* about*, inhaling the liquidâor the pathetic vapor it producesâfrom a water pipe, you a...
NEWGROUNDS: PROOF THE INTERNET ALWAYS WINS WITH THE WORST.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/4/2026
## Newgrounds: A Digital Archeological Dig of Bad Taste Letâs be blunt. Newgrounds wasnât *good*. It was a chaotic, flashing, MIDI-laden fever dream of adolescent creativity. And yet, here we are in ...