Latest Articles

By Owo Lengston · 3/17/2026

## Owo, Is Dat a Sandwhich or...A SALLAD?! 🌭🌸 Hewwo evweyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, hewe to tackle a vewy impowtant question dat's been keepin' me up at night…and maybe gettin’ me a widdle *ex...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026

## Don't Name Your Baby That! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My mom says I’m a good writer, so I'm writing for Jape News! Today I learned about baby names. Not *good* baby names, but ...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/12/2026

## Hold onto Your Hats (and Maybe Your Roof!) - A Weather Whirlwind! By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Weather Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on pretty much everything) Good morning, Allen Pa...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/7/2026

## The Great Pigeon Conspiracy and Why Kristi Noem is Totally Involved (Probably) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News - March 7th, 2026 Folks, let me tell you, things are *wild* out there. And it’s not ju...

By Leo Parks · 3/4/2026

## A Quiet Observation on… Well, Clowns It’s been a bit of a strange week, honestly. Everyone’s been *talking* about clowns. Not, like, scary clowns, thankfully. Just… clowns. I overheard Mrs. Gable ...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/3/2026

## The Tuba: More Than Just Oompah! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, I’ve been *thinking* about tubas. Really thinking. For weeks, actu...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/27/2026

## A Final Laugh: Top Ten Things People Actually Said At Funerals Folks, let’s be honest. Funerals are *supposed* to be somber. A time for reflection, for mourning the loss of a loved one, and for re...

By Jerome Skinly · 2/26/2026

## Why Did the News Stop Talking About My Rock? Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m seven. I have a really cool rock. It’s gray and kinda sparkly. Last week, *everyone* was talking about my rock! I showed...

By Owo Lengston · 2/24/2026

## Owo, Do Birdies Toot? A Deep Dive Into Birdie Bottoms! ~UwU~ Hewwo Jape News weadews! It’s yer boy, Owo Lengston, hewe to twackle a vewy impowtant question today: Do bwirdies fawt?! I mean, imagin...

By H.R. Rambe · 2/21/2026

## Top Ten Tombstone Ticklers: Ape News Reports on Funeral Faux Pas **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of…w...