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Header image for: A Pleasant Week With Some Nice Things Happening

A Pleasant Week With Some Nice Things Happening

By Leo Parks Ā· 3/31/2026

## A Cozy Week Ahead: Remembering What Matters Hi everyone, Leo Parks here. It’s hard to believe another week is almost upon us! Things have been… well, things. But amidst everything, it's nice to re...

Header image for: Holidays, Bears, Zucchini & Bunnies OH MY! (Plus Florida Oranges!)

Holidays, Bears, Zucchini & Bunnies OH MY! (Plus Florida Oranges!)

By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/31/2026

## Hold the Phone! It's a Holiday Hurricane! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to… well, everything! And boy, oh boy, is *everything* happening th...

Header image for: CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.

CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.

By Lori Grimmace Ā· 3/30/2026

## Another Week, Another Avalanche of… *Things*. Honestly, the sheer volume of ā€œawareness daysā€ and frankly pointless holidays is insulting. Do we really need a dedicated day for *everything*? Appare...

Header image for: PARENTS ARE RUINING CHILDREN. PERIOD.

PARENTS ARE RUINING CHILDREN. PERIOD.

By Lori Grimmace Ā· 3/27/2026

## Stop. Just Stop. A Guide to Not Ruining a Child’s Life With a Name Let’s be blunt. Some of you are actively attempting to sabotage your children before they even draw their first breath. The sheer...

Header image for: Owo No-Nos! Don't Name Youw Baby Sumthin' They'll Cwinge At! šŸ¼šŸ˜‰

Owo No-Nos! Don't Name Youw Baby Sumthin' They'll Cwinge At! šŸ¼šŸ˜‰

By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/27/2026

## Owo, No No Names! A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Wittle Bean's Name! šŸ’– Hewwo evewyone! It's me, Owo Lengston, and I'm hewe to tawwk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: names! Specifically, names yo...

Header image for: Owo No No Names! Don't Name Youw Bean Sumthin' Weawy Awful! Uwu!

Owo No No Names! Don't Name Youw Bean Sumthin' Weawy Awful! Uwu!

By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026

## Owo, No No Names! A Guide To Not Ruining Your Wittle Bean's Life! Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite name-savy jounawist, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about sumthin *vewy* impowtant: baby names! Uwu!...

Header image for: NAMES MATTER: Saving Our Kids From Ridiculous Trends.

NAMES MATTER: Saving Our Kids From Ridiculous Trends.

By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/13/2026

## A Tradition Under Threat: Protecting Our Children – and Our Heritage – One Name at a Time Folks, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the direction this country is headed. Seems like common sense...

Header image for: Owo! Don't Name Your Baby Nutella, OwO! 🄺 It's Fow Eatin', Not Lifin'! ✨

Owo! Don't Name Your Baby Nutella, OwO! 🄺 It's Fow Eatin', Not Lifin'! ✨

By Owo Lengston Ā· 2/4/2026

# Owo! No-No Names: A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Little Bean's Life! 🄺 Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: baby names! šŸ¼ I get it, pickin' a ...

Header image for: ZEBRAS CHOCOLATE & LOST SOCKS OH MY! (Mildred Says Celebrate!)

ZEBRAS CHOCOLATE & LOST SOCKS OH MY! (Mildred Says Celebrate!)

By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/26/2026

## Hold the Zebras! A Whirlwind Week of… Stuff! – By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, do we have a WEEK ahead of us. I was just telling Mildred, ...

Header image for: Please Be Careful With Bongs, Okay?

Please Be Careful With Bongs, Okay?

By Leo Parks Ā· 1/21/2026

## A Word to the Wise: Please, Just Don't By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer Okay, so, uh, this is a little awkward to write about, honestly. But it’s important, so here we are. I was chatting wit...