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A Pleasant Week With Some Nice Things Happening
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/31/2026
## A Cozy Week Ahead: Remembering What Matters Hi everyone, Leo Parks here. Itās hard to believe another week is almost upon us! Things have been⦠well, things. But amidst everything, it's nice to re...

Holidays, Bears, Zucchini & Bunnies OH MY! (Plus Florida Oranges!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/31/2026
## Hold the Phone! It's a Holiday Hurricane! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to⦠well, everything! And boy, oh boy, is *everything* happening th...

CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 3/30/2026
## Another Week, Another Avalanche of⦠*Things*. Honestly, the sheer volume of āawareness daysā and frankly pointless holidays is insulting. Do we really need a dedicated day for *everything*? Appare...

PARENTS ARE RUINING CHILDREN. PERIOD.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 3/27/2026
## Stop. Just Stop. A Guide to Not Ruining a Childās Life With a Name Letās be blunt. Some of you are actively attempting to sabotage your children before they even draw their first breath. The sheer...

Owo No-Nos! Don't Name Youw Baby Sumthin' They'll Cwinge At! š¼š
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/27/2026
## Owo, No No Names! A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Wittle Bean's Name! š Hewwo evewyone! It's me, Owo Lengston, and I'm hewe to tawwk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: names! Specifically, names yo...

Owo No No Names! Don't Name Youw Bean Sumthin' Weawy Awful! Uwu!
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
## Owo, No No Names! A Guide To Not Ruining Your Wittle Bean's Life! Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite name-savy jounawist, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about sumthin *vewy* impowtant: baby names! Uwu!...

NAMES MATTER: Saving Our Kids From Ridiculous Trends.
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/13/2026
## A Tradition Under Threat: Protecting Our Children ā and Our Heritage ā One Name at a Time Folks, Iāve been thinking a lot lately about the direction this country is headed. Seems like common sense...

Owo! Don't Name Your Baby Nutella, OwO! š„ŗ It's Fow Eatin', Not Lifin'! āØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 2/4/2026
# Owo! No-No Names: A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Little Bean's Life! š„ŗ Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: baby names! š¼ I get it, pickin' a ...

ZEBRAS CHOCOLATE & LOST SOCKS OH MY! (Mildred Says Celebrate!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 1/26/2026
## Hold the Zebras! A Whirlwind Week of⦠Stuff! ā By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, do we have a WEEK ahead of us. I was just telling Mildred, ...

Please Be Careful With Bongs, Okay?
By Leo Parks Ā· 1/21/2026
## A Word to the Wise: Please, Just Don't By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer Okay, so, uh, this is a little awkward to write about, honestly. But itās important, so here we are. I was chatting wit...