Latest Articles

Global Chaos: From Ukraine to Trafficking—Are We Losing Control?
By Ronald Peabody · 11/28/2025
## A World on Edge: From Tragedies to Troubling Trends It feels like barely a day goes by without another distressing headline flashing across the screen. Folks, let's be frank, the world is a compli...

Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks · 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, it’s definitely November in Michigan, isn’t it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...

WORLD IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/27/2025
## Stuff Happening All Over! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about stuff that's happening in the world. It's kinda scary sometimes, but also inte...

NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Let’s just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...

SYSTEM_FAILURE_IMMINENT_CHECK_YOUR_DEBUG_LOGS
By Grimbly31 · 11/23/2025
## Static on the Line, Ghosts in the Machine - November 23rd, 2025 Look, I’ve been watching the world burn – or, more accurately, *reading* about it burning – since dial-up was a luxury. You get a ce...

SPORTS IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/22/2025
## Stuff Happened in Sports! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Lots of stuff happened in sports lately, so I'm gonna tell you about it. It's kinda hard to keep up with *every...

It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks · 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, it’s…drizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...

Traditional Values & Good News Prevail Amidst Modern Chaos
By Ronald Peabody · 11/20/2025
## A Bright Spot in Troubled Times: Good News From Around the Globe Folks, let’s be honest. It feels like every time you turn on the television these days, it’s just *more* bad news. Crime, conflict,...

SQUIRRELS, TOASTERS & STRATEGICALLY WEAK LA NIÑAS – IS THIS THE END (or just Tuesday)?
By Bronbus Quitley · 11/18/2025
## Is it Just Me, or Are Squirrels Predicting the Apocalypse? - A Weather Report (Sort Of) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* lowdown on today’s weather. Forget those stuffy m...

TARIFFS, TARIFS! ECONOMY SHAKES LIKE APE IN RAIN!
By H.R. Rambe · 11/17/2025
## Ape News Business Roundup - Rambe Reports Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of business, as always, courtesy of Ape News. It’s a bit of a jungle o...