Latest Articles
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/23/2026
## Are Hot Dogs...Sandwiches OR Salads?! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I was wondering something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? My dad likes hot dogs a LOT. And he was talking to Un...
FUNERALS: WHERE COMMON SENSE GOES TO RESTâAND HUMOR LIVES ON
By Ronald Peabody · 4/20/2026
## A Little Levity in Loss: Remembering the Funny Things Said at Farewells Now, I understand funerals are meant to be somber occasions. Times for reflection, for mourning, for⊠well, respecting the g...
Gwandi Wapids Weathah: 70% Chance of Gettin' Soaked⊠And Othew Things >w<
By Owo Lengston · 4/16/2026
O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston hewe, bringin' you da scoop on da weathah in Gwandi Wapids! >w< It's a wittle wainy wight now, and it looks like Mommy Natuwe is gonna cwy a wittle mow...
BAKERY IS DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/15/2026
## The State of Bread: From Space Junk to Wood Smoke â Are We Taking This Seriously? April 15, 2026 â Letâs be clear: the term âbakeryâ is being thoroughly abused. Apparently, now *anything* involvin...
GRAND RAPIDS: UTTERLY, PAINFULLY PREDICTABLE.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/14/2026
## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Mediocrity Letâs not pretend this is *news*. Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes and a basic understanding of Midwestern weather patterns could have predict...
Hot Dogs: Are They Sandwiches? Maybe? Let's Not Think About It Too Much.
By Leo Parks · 4/13/2026
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? And⊠a Salad? Itâs a question thatâs plagued humanity for⊠well, probably since hot dogs became popular. Is a hot dog a sandwich? It sounds silly, I know, but people *real...
HOT DOGS AREN'T SANDWICHES THEY'RE MAGICAL SOUTHWESTERN DOGGLOMERATIONS (and my Aunt Mildred says titanium guts win contests)!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/11/2026
## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, or Something *Entirely* Different?! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News â April 11, 2026** Folks, lemme tell ya, I was enjoying a perfectly good hot dog â ...
MICHIGAN WEATHER IS A WEAKLING.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/9/2026
## Another Day, Another Disappointment: Michigan Weather Fails to Commit Letâs be clear: âpartly cloudyâ is just weatherâs way of admitting it canât make up its mind. As of today, April 9th, 2026, Mi...
Subject Finch Demonstrates Difficulty with the Accepted Forward Momentum of Occurrences
By Clungo Gleeb · 4/9/2026
## Local Man Experiences Temporal Distortion Regarding Current Events **Subheadline:** Subject Demonstrates Confusion with the Sequential Nature of Information Dissemination; Fellow Humans Remain Unp...
BADGERS, ACCOUNTANT ROBOTS, AND REVOLTING PIGEONS: My Aunt Mildred Knew!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/8/2026
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For - By Bronbus Quitley Right, alright, settle down, settle down! Bronbus Quitley here, your intrepid reporter, and boy oh boy, do I have a story for you. A REAL sto...