Latest Articles

By Jerome Skinly · 2/17/2026

## The Sky is… Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but… it's kinda tricky. See, I asked the computer to TELL me the...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/12/2026

## Another February Day, Another Reason to Stay Inside Grand Rapids, MI – Let’s be clear: if you ventured outside today hoping for a glimpse of spring, you made a mistake. A *significant* mistake. Th...

By Clungo Gleeb · 2/10/2026

## Atmospheric Perturbations: A Comprehensive Analysis of Current Weather Systems **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, reports on the complex interplay of meteorological forces impacting th...

By Grimbly31 · 2/7/2026

## They Were Always Watching: A History of the Honkers Okay, so look. You young’uns think clowns are just… birthday parties, right? Red noses, balloon animals, maybe a slightly unsettling vibe if you...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/5/2026

## Another Gray Day, Another Waste of Oxygen Let’s be clear: the weather is offensively mediocre. Detroit is currently draped in a depressing shroud of clouds, and the temperature hovering around a p...

By Grimbly31 · 2/3/2026

## Static in the Atmosphere Look, I’ve seen a lot of winters. *A lot*. Back when monitors glowed green and you needed a phone line to connect to anyone, winters were… different. They felt *bigger*, s...

By Leo Parks · 2/1/2026

## A Cold Snap Grips the Nation **By Leo Parks** Well, folks, it’s…cold. Really cold, actually. Seems like winter decided to *really* show up today. I stepped outside this morning and immediately re...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/29/2026

## Kalamazoo Chills Under Cloudy Skies - Ape News Report **Kalamazoo, Michigan - 2026-01-29** - A blanket of grey has settled over Kalamazoo today, friends. This is H.R. Rambe, reporting for Ape News...

By Grimbly31 · 1/29/2026

## Pixels & Paper: Still Slingin' Spells in '26 Look, I’ve been stacking cardboard and staring at glowing screens since before most of you were *born*. I remember when “netdecking” meant physically c...

By Owo Lengston · 1/27/2026

O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston, w-with a vewy chilly update! >w< Bwrr, it's c-cold out thewe in Gwrand Wapids, MI! Wike, *weawy* cold! The tempewatuwe is only 15°F, but it *feels* wi...