Latest Articles
WRESTLING NAMES ARE PATHETICALLY STUPID.
By Lori Grimmace · 1/22/2026
## The Absurdity of Aggression: When Wrestling Moves Get…Creative Let’s be clear. Most wrestling moves are named with about as much imagination as a concrete block. A spinebuster *busts the spine*. G...
GAMES ARE FOR EVERYONE NOW!!! + SPARKLIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 1/18/2026
## Video Games are COOL Now! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like video games A LOT. My big brother, Leo, told me some stuff about what’s happening with games right now and it’s kinda crazy. It...
Owo! Wwesstling Moves With Vewy Spicy Names?! ~uwu~
By Owo Lengston · 1/17/2026
## Owo, Did You See That?! A Look at Wwesstling's Wackiest Move Names! ~uwu~ H-hewwo, fwiends! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant. No, not… uh… *that* kinda impo...
RAMBE LOCKED OUT! KEYS VANISH—FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED—APE NEWS INVESTIGATES!
By H.R. Rambe · 1/16/2026
## A Most Troublesome Misplacement – By H.R. Rambe, Ape News The indignity of it! Absolutely the *indignity*! This reporter, H.R. Rambe, finds himself in a most frustrating predicament. I have…mispla...
Owo! Gwandi Wapids Wif Smol Humies = So Much Fun & Maybe a Nap Fow You? 😉✨
By Owo Lengston · 1/16/2026
## Owo! Grand Rapids Fun Wif Ur Smol Humies! ✨ Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to hewp you plan sum *weawwy* good times wif yer totally human childwens! It can be hawd, wight? Dey need...
WICKED: A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 1/7/2026
## Grimmace's Gavel: "Wicked: For Good" – A Saccharine Stain on a Perfectly Good Story Let’s be clear: the original “Wicked” movie was a passable, if bland, adaptation. It understood the *basic* prem...
RAMBE REPORTS: BANANAS BOOSTS AND SADNESS SHAKES DIGITAL JUNGLE!
By H.R. Rambe · 1/3/2026
## Ape News Roundup: Winter Warm-Ups and Somber Notes – January 3rd, 2026 Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of gaming, courtesy of Ape News! The new year...
KEYS VANISH! PIGEONS, SQUIRRELS, AND MY PULITZER ARE ALL CONNECTED! (Bartholomew is a JERK)
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/27/2025
## My Keys, Where Did They GO?! - By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Oh dear, oh dear, oh *dear*. It happened again. You know, they say losing your keys is a sign of… well, I read it on a cereal box once,...
RAIN SNOW FIGHTING ITS COLD!
By Jerome Skinly · 12/18/2025
## Brrr! It's Wet and Cold! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and today the weather is… weird! Mommy said it’s winter, but it’s not *just* snow. It’s rain *and* snow! And sometimes it's kinda slushy....
Clowning's Decline: Another American Tradition Under Attack!
By Ronald Peabody · 12/16/2025
## The Dying Art of a True American Performer Folks, let’s talk about something important. Something *real*. Something we’re letting slip away right before our eyes. I’m talking about clowns. Not the...