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Header image for: APRIL FOOLS, HOLY DAYS, AND REMEMBERING—APE NEWS HAS IT ALL!

APRIL FOOLS, HOLY DAYS, AND REMEMBERING—APE NEWS HAS IT ALL!

By H.R. Rambe · 3/30/2026

## A Week of Remembrance, Reflection, and
 Bunnies? – Ape News Roundup Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It's 2026-03-30, and quite a busy week is un...

Header image for: APRIL BRINGS REMEMBERING, TRICKERY, PLUS A LOT OF BANANA-WATCHING, ACCORDING TO APE NEWS!

APRIL BRINGS REMEMBERING, TRICKERY, PLUS A LOT OF BANANA-WATCHING, ACCORDING TO APE NEWS!

By H.R. Rambe · 3/30/2026

## A Busy Week Ahead, According to Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s 2026-03-30, and boy, do we have a packed week ahead! Seems every c...

Header image for: RAMBE SAYS: APRIL FOOLS PLUS HOLIDAYS EQUAL CHAOS! – Ape News.

RAMBE SAYS: APRIL FOOLS PLUS HOLIDAYS EQUAL CHAOS! – Ape News.

By H.R. Rambe · 3/30/2026

## Ape News: A Week of Remembrance, Reflection, and
 Fools? – Rambe Reports! Greetings, fellow apes and humans! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown from Ape News on all the noteworthy events un...

Header image for: PICKLES, PIGEONS, & PATRIOTISM—A WEEK SO WILD IT NEEDS A BADGER DOCTOR!

PICKLES, PIGEONS, & PATRIOTISM—A WEEK SO WILD IT NEEDS A BADGER DOCTOR!

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/30/2026

## Hold the Phone! A Whirlwind of Hats, Heroes, and
Pickles?! – This Week in Happenings! By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Staff Writer Good evening folks! Bronbus Quitley here, and lemme tell ya, my ca...

Header image for: A Lot Happened This Week, Just Thought You Should Know.

A Lot Happened This Week, Just Thought You Should Know.

By Leo Parks · 3/30/2026

## A Week of Remembrance, Reflection, and
Eggs? Hello everyone, Leo Parks here. It’s been a pretty busy week already, and it’s only going to keep going! I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone a...

Header image for: A WEEK OF UTTER NONSENSE.

A WEEK OF UTTER NONSENSE.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026

## A Week of
 *Things*. Honestly. Let's just get this over with. The calendar is apparently overflowing with “special” days this week. As if we needed more manufactured reasons to feel vaguely obliga...

Header image for: CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.

CALENDAR IS A DUMPSTER FIRE.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/30/2026

## Another Week, Another Avalanche of
 *Things*. Honestly, the sheer volume of “awareness days” and frankly pointless holidays is insulting. Do we really need a dedicated day for *everything*? Appare...

Header image for: A Calculated Sequence of Designated Days: An Earthly Accounting of March 30th – April 6th, 2026

A Calculated Sequence of Designated Days: An Earthly Accounting of March 30th – April 6th, 2026

By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026

## A Convergence of Temporal Markers: Examining the Week of March 30th – April 6th, 2026 **A period of scheduled collective remembrance and, in some instances, intentional levity, commences.** Greet...

Header image for: LANSING EGGS BRUNCH SQUIRREL TREATIES & SAUNA SWEAT! (Beethoven May Be Involved)

LANSING EGGS BRUNCH SQUIRREL TREATIES & SAUNA SWEAT! (Beethoven May Be Involved)

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/30/2026

## Bronbus Quitley’s Absolutely, Positively Accurate Guide to What’s Happening RIGHT NOW! (And Soon!) Greetings, fellow citizens of
well, everywhere! Bronbus Quitley here, your trusty guide to the sw...

Header image for: A Seven-Rotation Catalog of Terrestrial Commemorations: An Exhaustive Enumeration for Optimal Human Cohesion

A Seven-Rotation Catalog of Terrestrial Commemorations: An Exhaustive Enumeration for Optimal Human Cohesion

By Clungo Gleeb · 3/30/2026

## A Convergence of Commemorations: Navigating the Terrestrial Cycle of Observances **A Comprehensive Enumeration of Scheduled Human Rituals, March 30th – April 5th** Greetings, fellow humans. I am ...