Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 3/17/2026

## This Weather is an Insult Let’s be clear: the weather isn’t *interesting*. It simply *is*. And right now, it’s offensively mediocre, bordering on actively hostile. Reports are flooding in – natura...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

## Nature’s Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Sins? Folks, I’ve been watching the weather reports, and frankly, it’s downright *Biblical* out there. Not just a little rain and wind, no. We're talki...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/9/2026

## A Week of…Things. Honestly. Right, let’s get this over with. Apparently, humanity *insists* on marking days on a calendar. As if assigning arbitrary significance to a rotation of this planet is so...

By Leo Parks · 3/3/2026

## A Bit… Unpredictable, Honestly Okay, so, the weather today. It’s… well, it’s *something*. I tried to get the official forecast, you know, the really detailed one with the temperatures and everythi...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/2/2026

## The Calendar is CLUTTERED. A Rundown of March's Madness. Let's be blunt: March is an avalanche of "awareness days" and half-hearted celebrations. Apparently, *everyone* deserves a day. And frankly...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/28/2026

## The World is Burning, and No One Seems Surprised Let’s state the obvious: we are witnessing a spectacular, multi-faceted collapse. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either deeply delusional or act...

By Owo Lengston · 2/25/2026

O-owO Hewwo evewyone, it’s ya boi Owo Lengston, bringin’ you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It’s been a wittle bit of a chaotic week, and my wittle heawt is feelin’ a bit twiggery…but in a good way? *...

By Bronbus Quitley · 2/16/2026

## A World Gone Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey… and Slightly Smoky **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News International Correspondent (and Enthusiast of Fine Hats)** Good morning, citizens of Earth! Bronbus Qu...

By Jerome Skinly · 2/12/2026

## Mr. Grumbles and the Never-Ending News Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm telling you about my neighbor, Mr. Grumbles. He's REALLY old. Not like, super-duper old, but older...

By Leo Parks · 2/10/2026

## Lost in the Loop: Local Man Baffled by Ever-Changing Headlines **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** Old Man Hemlock, a retired clock repairman from Willow Creek, is… confused. And honestly, w...