Latest Articles
Corvid Assemblages Demonstrate Unexpected Behavioral Vectors: A Fellow Human Reports on Avian Complexity.
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/14/2025
## The Obsidian Reflections: A Study in Corvid Complexity **Subheadline:** Recent investigations reveal a species far exceeding prior estimations of cognitive capacity and social nuance. A fellow hum...
BEE-UTIFUL FLOOR COVERINGS SWARMING HOMES—Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/9/2025
## A Buzzworthy Trend: Bee-Themed Carpets Are Taking Flight in Interior Design By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It appears the humble bee is having a moment – and not just in the garden! Here at Ape News, we...
SQUIRRELS THRIVE. STOP HELPING THEM.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/2/2025
## Frankly, It's About Time Someone Addressed the Squirrel Situation Let's be clear: squirrels are a nuisance. A fluffy-tailed, nut-burying, garden-devastating nuisance. However, even *I* can acknowl...
FLYBOAT TO REAL LIFE: SQUIRREL RESCUE ISN'T A DRILL.
By Grimbly31 · 8/21/2025
## From Pixelated Plight to Real-World Rescue: A Look Back at “Save the Squirrel!” and Today’s Conservation Efforts Okay, so listen up. I've been staring at screens since before most of you were *ges...
BIRDS NO TOOT! APE NEWS FINDS TRUTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Do Birds Toot? Ape News Investigates! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For ages, a question has plagued ornithologists, puzzled picnickers, and frankly, occupied *my* considerabl...
CROWS: Ape News Reveals Birds Are Smarter Than Some Humans!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## The Cleverest Birds: A Look at the World of Crows - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News **August 9, 2025** – From the misty shores of Curonia to the sun-baked lands of Australia, the crow is a constant presen...
NEBRASKA UNDER SIEGE! GIANT, CINNAMON-SCENTED WEASELS PLOT GLOBAL DOMINATION! (My Chihuahua Knows!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Nebraska Under Siege! Weasels! Weasels Everywhere! (And They Smell!) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Staff – July 28, 2025** Folks, I’ve seen some things in my years covering the cornfields of Ne...
Squirrels Sabotage Shipping! Hamster-Powered Trains?! Bronbus Knows!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/10/2025
## The Mighty Machine: A Look at How America Moves Its Stuff (And Why It's a Bit Dizzy Right Now) – By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Well hello there, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live (well, ...
Crows: Ancient Messengers or Modern Menace?
By Ronald Peabody · 7/8/2025
## The Shadowed Wing: A Chronicle of the Crow Across Cultures and Time **(Jape News, July 12, 2025 - By Ronald Peabody)** They’re everywhere, aren't they? Perched atop telephone wires, scavenging in...
BEAVERS WROTE DECLARATION?! Fireworks Could Launch HOTDOGS?! July 4th INSANITY!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/4/2025
## Boom! Sparkle! It's the Fourth of July! (And Did You Know Beavers Helped Write the Declaration?) Greetings, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live – well, sort of live, the pigeon...