Latest Articles

By Grimbly31 · 1/9/2026

## The Lag Spike of Childhood: When Birthday Parties Go Wrong Look, I've seen a *lot* of parties. Not the fancy-dress, canapé-and-champagne type, mind you. I’m talking decades of observing human cubs...

By Leo Parks · 12/29/2025

## Thinking of a Name? Some to Maybe…Skip? By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff So, a friend of mine just announced they’re expecting! It’s wonderful news, of course, and everyone’s already excitedly askin...

By Leo Parks · 12/28/2025

## Keeping Up With the Kiddos: What’s Trending Now? By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer It’s… a lot. That’s what I’ve been gathering, talking to parents and, well, trying to eavesdrop a little. Thi...

By Ronald Peabody · 12/27/2025

## The Tiny Tyrants & Their Tech: Are iPhones Really For Babies? Now listen, I’ve seen a lot change in my time. Used to be a baby’s best friend was a rattle, a soft blanket, maybe a good, sturdy wood...

By H.R. Rambe · 12/21/2025

## Ape News: H.R. Rambe’s Guide to Human Cub Entertainment! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News – er, I mean, *Ape News*! As an intelligent ape, I’ve ob...

By Lori Grimmace · 12/20/2025

## The State of Childhood: A Descent into Manufactured “Fun” Let’s be blunt: children are not *playing* anymore. They are being *processed*. And frankly, it’s terrifying. Reports are surfacing – as i...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/17/2025

## The Great School Lunch Revolt: A Nation Divided Over Broccoli & Budgets Folks, I’ve been following the news for a long time, and I thought I’d seen it all. But this… this school lunch business? It...

By H.R. Rambe · 11/16/2025

## Ape News: What the Little Ones Are Grabbing For! **By H.R. Rambe** It’s that time of year, friends! The time when the young apes – er, children – start making those *very* specific requests. Here...

By Clungo Gleeb · 11/7/2025

## The Vocalizations of New Humans: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Early Linguistic Development **Subheadline: Careful Consideration of Phonemes May Facilitate Optimal Vocal Output in Developing Hom...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025

## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It’s me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of… well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...