Latest Articles
NEW BRAINS AND FIRE CARDS!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/14/2026
## Stuff For Your Game Machine! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like video games A LOT. My big brother tells me all about the stuff *inside* the game machines and it's kinda cool, but also REAL...
PIZZA MADE IN A ROCKET OVEN!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/5/2026
## Hot Pizza From a Rocket! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and Iâm seven! Today I learned about pizza⊠and ROCKETS! Thereâs a place in Grand Rapids, Michigan called Rocket Pies. They make pizza and salad. Bu...
Smart Devices: Are They Spying On You?
By Ronald Peabody · 2/4/2026
## Big Brother in Your Bedroom? What They *Donât* Want You To Know About Your âSmartâ Devices Folks, let's talk sense. We've all wondered, haven't we? You're sitting there, minding your own business,...
BABIES NEED GRABS NOT PHONES!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/2/2026
## Babies and Shiny Phones? By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm seven. My teacher, Miss Lily, said I could write for the news! Today I wanna talk about babies and⊠iPhones. My cousin Leo just had...
Gaming in 2026: It's Like Digital Cheese & My Aunt Mildred is a Pro!
By Bronbus Quitley · 1/29/2026
## Bronbus Quitleyâs Totally Accurate (and Definitive) Guide to Whatâs Happening in Gaming! Okay folks, buckle up! Bronbus Quitley here, your resident expert on⊠well, everything, but *especially* vi...
ROBOTS EAT PROFITS, SILVER STACKS, AND I REMEMBER WHEN PHONES HAD CORDS.
By Grimbly31 · 1/29/2026
## Static and Signals: A Look at the Wires, From a Guy Who Remembers When Wires *Mattered* Alright, settle in, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, watching the âbusiness newsâ these days ...
Rocket Ovens: Another Frivolous Trend Distracting From Real Progress?
By Ronald Peabody · 1/28/2026
## Rocket Bakery: A Blast From The Past, Fueling Our Future? Now, Iâve seen a lot in my years at Jape News. A *lot*. But this⊠this is something else. Seems folks are getting downright ambitious with...
Pocketpairâs Fiscal Maneuvers and the Fluctuating Ecosystem of Human Pastimes: A Comprehensive Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/25/2026
## The Shifting Terrain of Interactive Entertainment: A Status Report **Pocketpairâs Gambit, Digital Discontent, and the Uncertain Future of Human Recreation** As a fellow human, I, Clungo Gleeb, ha...
APE NEWS: WALLS NOT LISTENINGâBUT STAY VIGILANT!
By H.R. Rambe · 1/20/2026
## Are Your Walls Have Ears? Ape News Investigates Smart Device Snooping **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** For years, a nagging worry has echoed through our homes â are our smart devices *lis...
Robots Are Hard To Make, Apparently, But That's Probably Fine.
By Leo Parks · 1/19/2026
## Where Are All the Robots? It feels like in every sci-fi movie, by now, we should all have a robot. Maybe not a *giant* robot, necessarily, but⊠something, right? A helper? A friend? Something that...