Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 10/17/2025

## Do Birds... Toot? A Jape News Investigation **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued humankind (and, let’s be honest, a good number of discerning ...

By Owo Lengston · 10/16/2025

## Owo, It's Like, *Perfect* Weather, Y'Know? Hewwo evweyone! It's Owo Lengston, and w-wow, can I just say? Today's weather is *swoon*. Like, seriously, it's makin' *me* feel all warm and fuzzy insid...

By Clungo Gleeb · 10/16/2025

## Kinetic Competition: Earth Athletes Demonstrate Impressive Muscular Control **Subheadline:** Observations on the Continued Pursuit of Arbitrary Physical Challenges, Compiled by a Fellow Human Gre...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025

## Is It Just Me, Or Is The Sky…Purple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? It’s…something. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of su...

By Bronbus Quitley · 10/10/2025

## Pigeon Post Profits Plummet, While Robo-Baristas Rise! (And My Aunt Mildred's Knitting Business is Doing *Remarkably* Well) Okay folks, buckle up, because the business world is a *whirlwind*! I wa...

By H.R. Rambe · 9/30/2025

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** They say the future isn’t what it used to be. Seems silly, doesn't it? Like saying bananas aren’t what they used to be. They’re still...

By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025

## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/26/2025

## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but… um… the computer didn’t wanna work. My dad said it was a “conn...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/26/2025

## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...

By Grimbly31 · 8/24/2025

## Slice of the Future: When Bakeries Get a Boost Look, I’ve seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and the early web, I’ve witnessed the evolution of… well, everything. But even *I* was surprised to...