Latest Articles
SQUIRRELS, VAMPIRES & LEAD PIPES: THE MARKET’S GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS (And I, Bronbus Quitley, Know Exactly Why!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/30/2025
## Bronbus Quitley’s Absolutely Definitive (and Possibly Slightly Incorrect) Guide to What’s Happening in Magic! Greetings, fellow card slingers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to everything wonder...
YOUNG ONES DITCH MATCHING, DEMAND SPARKLE: Ape News Reports Radical Kid-Dom Shift!
By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025
## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It’s me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of… well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...
Hexagonal Ground Cover: Are Human Domiciles Becoming Nests?
By Clungo Gleeb · 10/19/2025
## Domestic Flooring Units Reflect Apian Morphology: A Rising Trend? **Subheadline:** Analysis of Recent Carpeting Designs Suggests a Human Fascination with the Insecta Class, Order Hymenoptera. A fe...
TEENS SEEKING CLOUT DESERVE JAIL CELLS.
By Lori Grimmace · 10/12/2025
## The Abyss Stares Back: When "Fun" Becomes Felony Let's be blunt. I’ve seen enough. Enough breathless reporting on "challenges" and “trends” that amount to little more than televised idiocy. And fr...
BEE-UTIFUL FLOOR COVERINGS SWARMING HOMES—Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/9/2025
## A Buzzworthy Trend: Bee-Themed Carpets Are Taking Flight in Interior Design By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It appears the humble bee is having a moment – and not just in the garden! Here at Ape News, we...
BEE CARPETS. I'VE SEEN WORSE IN SOURCE ENGINE MAPS.
By Grimbly31 · 9/3/2025
## Buzzworthy Boucle: When Interior Design Gets Its Wings Look, I’ve seen a *lot* of trends come and go. I was modding Quake when shag carpeting was already making a comeback. Seriously. I’ve witness...
TOYS ARE ALIVE I TELL YA—PIGEONS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES & MY AUNT MILDRED IS STILL WAITING FOR HER KNITTING MOMENT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/21/2025
## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Are…EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildred’s Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH… THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their… Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
The Intensifying Vocalization of Projected Playful Derision: A Fellow Human’s Inquiry
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## The Rising Tide of “I’m Gonna Jape You”: A Linguistic Examination & Societal Implications **Subheadline:** A fellow human investigates the increasingly prevalent Earth idiom and its potential for ...
Ice Cream Trends: Quite a Few Changes, Really!
By Leo Parks · 7/18/2025
## Cool Creations: What's Trending in Ice Cream This Summer? – A Jape News Update By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Well, hello everyone! It’s a lovely summer evening here at Jape News, and I thought I’...