Latest Articles
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH… THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their… Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred Says…)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live from… well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
SEX TOYS RAIN DOWN! Ape News Investigates WNBA Chaos!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/8/2025
## Ape News Sports Roundup - August 8th, 2025 - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of sports, as always, direct from Ape News! It’s been...
The Intensifying Vocalization of Projected Playful Derision: A Fellow Human’s Inquiry
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## The Rising Tide of “I’m Gonna Jape You”: A Linguistic Examination & Societal Implications **Subheadline:** A fellow human investigates the increasingly prevalent Earth idiom and its potential for ...
Internet's Odd Corner: Newgrounds Still Thriving Despite Everything.
By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025
## The Wild Frontier of Internet Humor: What’s Trending on Newgrounds in 2025 For nearly three decades, Newgrounds has been a cornerstone of internet creativity. While the mainstream media chases fle...
CLOWNS: ANCIENT, AWFUL, AND STILL HERE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025
## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Let’s be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...
Bananas: A Pound Costs HOW MUCH?! Ape News Alert!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025
## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...
A Pleasant Look at a Common Saying
By Leo Parks · 7/29/2025
## The Curious Case of "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" It’s a sentiment we’re all familiar with, isn’t it? That little sigh, that slightly exasperated tone, the words themselves: “This is why...
NEBRASKA UNDER SIEGE! GIANT, CINNAMON-SCENTED WEASELS PLOT GLOBAL DOMINATION! (My Chihuahua Knows!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Nebraska Under Siege! Weasels! Weasels Everywhere! (And They Smell!) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Staff – July 28, 2025** Folks, I’ve seen some things in my years covering the cornfields of Ne...
WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/26/2025
## Hold On Tight, Folks! The Economy's Doing the Cha-Cha! **(Jape News - July 26, 2025) –** Well, butter my biscuits and call the circus! It's been a *week* in the business world, hasn't it? It feels...