Latest Articles

By Leo Parks · 10/3/2025

## Holiday Toy Trends: Something for Everyone (Hopefully!) It's that time of year again, folks! The leaves are turning, the air is getting crisp, and… parents are starting to panic about the holiday ...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/2/2025

## Ape News: Are We Ruining Birthdays? A Primate’s Perspective on Party Excess By H.R. Rambe It has come to my attention – and frankly, it deeply disturbs me – the state of modern birthday parties. ...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/17/2025

## Don't Name Your Baby *That*! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher says it's important to learn about stuff, and then tell other people about it. So, I learned about baby nam...

By Owo Lengston · 9/13/2025

## Owo, No-No! When Birthday Fun Goes WRONG! 🎂😱 H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston hewe! Y-you know me, I wuv a good pawt-ay! 🎉 But wisten, I gotta t-tell you, I've seen some *stuff*. Some weally, weally ...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/9/2025

## Don't Call Your Baby *That*! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News. My teacher, Mrs. Gable, said it's important to pick GOOD names for babies. So, I looked at a LOT o...

By Lori Grimmace · 9/7/2025

## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to What *Not* To Do Let’s be blunt: far too many children’s birthday parties are exercises in parental overcompensation and, frankly, kid torture disguised ...

By Clungo Gleeb · 9/6/2025

## The Glowing Rectangle and the Developing Human: A Discourse on Infant-iPhone Interaction **By Clungo Gleeb, Jape News Staff Writer** **September 6, 2025** – A query has circulated within human so...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/31/2025

## Don't Call Your Baby That! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News! Today I learned about names. Like, what you *can’t* name your baby. It’s kinda weird, right? You thi...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025

## The Toypocalypse: What Are Children *Actually* Playing With Now? (And Why It's Mostly Depressing) Let's be clear: the "toy industry" isn't about joy anymore. It’s a relentless, algorithm-driven mo...

By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025

## Owo, No No Iphones For Tiny Beans! 🥺📱 Hewwo evwyone, it's yer boi Owo Lengston hewe, comin' at chu wif a vewy impowtant question! It's sumthin' I've been thinkin' about *a lot* wecently, espcial...