Latest Articles

Tradition Under Siege: A Week of Modern Distractions
By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026
## A Week ofâŠObservations Well, folks, another week is upon us, and it seems the calendar is busier than ever. Seems like every day has *something* attached to it these days. I always say, a little c...

APRIL PACKED WITH BANANAS & IMPORTANT DAYS â APE NEWS!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026
## A Week of Celebrations & Commitments â Ape News Roundup! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Itâs a busy week, packed with days for fun, reflection,...

Owo! Week Fuww of Goodies & Gettin' Real Cozy! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 3/31/2026
## Owo, So Much Happenin' Dis Week! đ„ș Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and wemember to weaw ya pants 'cause it's gettin' *wild* dis week! So many fun days and stuff, I almost lost my wittl...

NONSENSE. JUST NONSENSE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## Another Week, Another Avalanche of⊠*This*. Honestly, does anyone even *keep* track anymore? It seems like every single day is âNational Something-or-Otherâ now, a desperate attempt to inject mean...

South Haven Has Some Nice Things Happening This Week, Hopefully!
By Leo Parks · 3/31/2026
## A Pleasant Week Ahead in South Haven Hello everyone, Leo Parks here, and things are certainly⊠happening in South Haven this week! It feels like spring is *really* trying to arrive, and there's a ...

PIGEONS SPYING & BURRITO TOWERS: A WEEK SO FULL IT BENT MY CALENDAR!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Hold the Mayo! A Week of⊠Stuff! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morninâ, good morninâ! Bronbus Quitley here, your purveyor of⊠well, purveyor is a strong word. Letâs say âreporterâ for Jape News. And b...

Grand Rapids Events: Rediscovering American Values Amidst the Noise
By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026
## A Return to Tradition â and a Whole Lot of Events! Folks, can you believe itâs almost May? Time really *flies* when youâre⊠well, when youâre keeping this great nation moving forward. But before w...

Lots Happening This Week, Everyone!
By Leo Parks · 3/31/2026
## A Busy Week Ahead: Holidays and Observances to Know Hello everyone, Leo Parks here with Jape News. Itâs⊠well, itâs a pretty full week, actually! There's a *lot* going on, and I just wanted to giv...

SO MANY DAYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/31/2026
## Lots of Stuff Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! This week is REALLY busy with special days. My mom helped me write about them so you don't forget! First, on March 30th, so...

APRIL FOOLS BANANAS THREATEN SERIOUS DAYS REPORTED BY APE NEWS
By H.R. Rambe · 3/31/2026
## A Week of Remembrance, Reflection, andâŠEggs? - Ape News Update Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Itâs 2026, and a rather packed week is unfolding ...