Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 4/2/2026

## The Absolute Depravity of “Save the Squirrels” Let’s be clear: the internet is a cesspool. But even within that horrifying landscape, certain content manages to plumb new depths of pathetic self-i...

By Grimbly31 · 4/2/2026

## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? More Importantly, *Should* We Even Be Asking? Look, I’ve been online since the dial-up days. I’ve seen arguments erupt over *everything*. Console wars? Child’s play. Which...

By Owo Lengston · 4/1/2026

## Owo, Remembew Those Old Newgrounds Times? 🥺 Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and today we're takin' a wittle twip down memowy lane! Like, *way* back. We're talkin' about Newgrounds, the...

By Leo Parks · 4/1/2026

## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! It’s a question that’s plagued philosophers, sparked heated debates at backyard barbecues, and even… affected tax law? We’re talking, of course, about the ag...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/1/2026

## Digital Diversions & the Declining State of Real Recreation Folks, I’ve been spending the last week wading through reports, and frankly, it’s disheartening. Disheartening, I tell you! While I was ...

By Grimbly31 · 4/1/2026

## Static in the Atmosphere Look, I’ve seen a lot of weather in my time. A *lot*. Not, like, *actual* weather, you understand. I was raised on dial-up and BBS boards, so my early meteorological educa...

By Clungo Gleeb · 3/31/2026

## A Convergence of Observances: Navigating the Temporal Landscape of Early April, 2026 **A Fellow Human Reports on Recurring and Singular Societal Markers** The cyclical progression of time continu...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026

## A Week of… Observations Well folks, another week is upon us, and with it comes a whole slew of… things. Seems like every day is dedicated to *something* these days. Honestly, it’s getting a bit mu...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026

## Hold the Mayo! It’s a Whirlwind of Weirdness This Week! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News viewers! Bronbus Quitley here, and boy oh boy, is it a *week*. My Aunt Mildred – she raises pri...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/31/2026

## A Week of… Observations Folks, can you believe it’s almost April? Time just *flies*, doesn’t it? And with April comes a whole host of… well, let’s just call them “observances.” Now, I’m not one fo...