Latest Articles
Oh, Gosh, I Think I Misplaced Something.
By Leo Parks Ā· 9/15/2025
## Oh, Dear. Where Did They Go? It happened again. Justā¦vanished. I swear, I had them a moment ago. I was coming in from grabbing a coffee ā just a quick run to Brew & Bites, really ā and I distinctl...
WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 9/15/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Letās dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isnāt ācomplex.ā Itās spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...
PIZZA BATMAN PIRATES AND FALL! WOAH!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/15/2025
## Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy! Lots of days to remember! Today is September 15th and it's calledā¦ International Da...
Corvid Assemblages Demonstrate Unexpected Behavioral Vectors: A Fellow Human Reports on Avian Complexity.
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 9/14/2025
## The Obsidian Reflections: A Study in Corvid Complexity **Subheadline:** Recent investigations reveal a species far exceeding prior estimations of cognitive capacity and social nuance. A fellow hum...
CARS WITH BEDZ AND BULLS!!!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/13/2025
## Weird Rides! Stuff People Do To Cars (Itās SO Strange!) Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today Iām gonna tell you about some REALLY weird stuff people do to their cars and trucks. ...
Owo! B-Birthdays Gone WILD! ššš± P-Parents, Pwease No Mo' Disastews! š„ŗ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 9/13/2025
## Owo, No-No! When Birthday Fun Goes WRONG! šš± H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston hewe! Y-you know me, I wuv a good pawt-ay! š But wisten, I gotta t-tell you, I've seen some *stuff*. Some weally, weally ...
Is Youw Phone A Peeking Pwetty Kitty? š„ŗš
By Owo Lengston Ā· 9/12/2025
## Owo, Is Your Phone a Lilā Peek-a-Boo? š³ Hewwo everyone! Itās Owo Lengston here, and I gotta askā¦ does it *feeeeel* like your phone is always, *always* listeninā? Like, you casually mention you wa...
Cardboard Rectangles and Temporal Shifts: A Fellow Human Examines the 2025 Magic: The Gathering Cycle
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 9/12/2025
## Cardboard Prophecies and the Shifting Sands of Play: A Dissection of the Magic: The Gathering Ecosystem **A comprehensive analysis of forthcoming releases, player speculation, and the ongoing evol...
GRAND RAPIDS EXPERIENCES PREDICTABLE THERMAL EXCHANGE: A FELLOW HUMAN DOCUMENTS THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 9/11/2025
## Grand Rapids Experiences Diurnal Temperature Fluctuation: A Report on Atmospheric Conditions **Local Meteorological Event Demonstrates Predictable, Yet Awe-Inspiring, Planetary Processes** **GRAN...
TOASTERS ARE LISTENING & MY BOTTLE CAP COLLECTION PREDICTED IT ALL!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 9/11/2025
## Is Your Toaster Spying on You? (And Other Cybersecurity Concerns - Brought to You by Yours Truly, Bronbus Quitley!) Okay, folks, buckle up! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood cyberse...