Latest Articles

By Bronbus Quitley · 4/29/2026

## Tiny Humans, Tiny Tech: Are iPhones for Infants?! – By Bronbus Quitley Okay, folks, settle in, because I’ve been *really* thinking about this one. Really thinking. I was at the grocery store yeste...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/20/2026

## A Little Levity in Loss: Remembering the Funny Things Said at Farewells Now, I understand funerals are meant to be somber occasions. Times for reflection, for mourning, for… well, respecting the g...

By Clungo Gleeb · 4/9/2026

## Local Man Experiences Temporal Distortion Regarding Current Events **Subheadline:** Subject Demonstrates Confusion with the Sequential Nature of Information Dissemination; Fellow Humans Remain Unp...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/5/2026

## A Dampening of the American Spirit? Cloudy Skies Over Grand Rapids Folks, let’s be honest. The weather… well, it’s *trying* to bring us down. Here in Heartside, Grand Rapids, we’re looking at a gr...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/5/2026

## A Chill in the Air and a Sign of the Times? Folks, let's talk about the weather. Not just the "what's it doing right now" kind of weather, but what it *means*. Now, I’ve been watching the skies fo...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/4/2026

## A Dampening of the American Spirit? Grand Rapids Braces for Unseasonable Storms Folks, I’m looking out my window here at the Jape News offices, and let me tell you, it’s…grey. Just plain grey. Not...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/3/2026

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For Let’s be blunt. It's April 3rd, 2026, and the gleaming, frictionless utopia promised by every tech baron and “visionary” since the dawn of the internet? It's a la...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/2/2026

## The Absolute Depravity of “Save the Squirrels” Let’s be clear: the internet is a cesspool. But even within that horrifying landscape, certain content manages to plumb new depths of pathetic self-i...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/1/2026

## Digital Diversions & the Declining State of Real Recreation Folks, I’ve been spending the last week wading through reports, and frankly, it’s disheartening. Disheartening, I tell you! While I was ...

By Ronald Peabody · 4/1/2026

## A Dampening of the American Spirit? Weather Report for April 1st, 2026 Folks, let’s talk about the weather. Not to sound like your grandmother, but it’s a topic that truly *affects* us all, doesn'...