Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 9/10/2025

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** It’s a curious thing, this future. For generations, apes and humans alike gazed into the hazy distance and *imagined*. Sleek silver v...

By Clungo Gleeb · 9/6/2025

## The Glowing Rectangle and the Developing Human: A Discourse on Infant-iPhone Interaction **By Clungo Gleeb, Jape News Staff Writer** **September 6, 2025** – A query has circulated within human so...

By Grimbly31 · 9/1/2025

## Static on the Line: A World Tuning Out of Sync The signal’s always been fractured, hasn’t it? Even back when we were all jacked into bulletin boards and pixelated chatrooms, the world felt… glitch...

By Ronald Peabody · 8/29/2025

## The Crumbling of Civilization, One Broken Trinket at a Time Folks, let’s talk about a national epidemic. No, not inflation, though Lord knows that’s a problem. I’m talking about *carelessness*. A ...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/22/2025

## The Descent into Darkness: A Catalog of Funeral Fails Let’s be clear: funerals are not comedy hours. They are, ideally, moments of solemn remembrance. But humanity, in its infinite capacity for aw...

By Leo Parks · 8/17/2025

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For It feels…loud. Not with sound, exactly, though the endless notifications certainly contribute. It’s a *fullness*, a constant pressure of…everything. I remember wh...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/15/2025

## The Painted Grin & The Rotting Joke Let’s be blunt: most clowns today are *embarrassments*. Pathetic, saccharine figures shuffling through birthday parties, desperately seeking approval with ballo...

By Owo Lengston · 8/12/2025

## Owo's Top Ten Things Folks Say at Funewals (and Why They're Kinda Funny, Nya~) 🐾 H-hewwo, d-darlings! It's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weeporter, and today we're diving into a topic that's...well...

By Leo Parks · 6/27/2025

## The Quiet Unease: Debates Around the “Common Purpose” Plan Spark Another Round of Division **By Leo Parks, Jape News** It feels like just yesterday we were navigating another wave of… disagreemen...