Latest Articles
Swifties & Sanders: Is American Sport Losing Its Spine?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 8/27/2025
## The State of Competition: Are We Losing Sight of What Matters? Folks, Iāve been following sports for a long time, and let me tell you, something just *feels* different these days. Itās not just th...
NEW COMPUTER STUFF IS AWESOME!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 8/27/2025
## Cool New Stuff for Games! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News! Hi! I'm Jerome and I like video games! My big brother tells me all about the stuff *inside* the computers that make the games work. It's RE...
RAIN MAYBE! I THINK SO!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 8/26/2025
## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, butā¦ umā¦ the computer didnāt wanna work. My dad said it was a āconn...
The Calculated Calm: A Fellow Humanās Directive for Spatial & Temporal Efficiency Within the Domestic Sphere
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 8/26/2025
## The Calculated Calm: Structuring Your Personal Command Center Fellow humans, it has come to my attention ā through extensive observation of your societal patterns ā that many of you now conduct pr...
HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Orā¦ a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...
Things Areā¦ Happening, Which Is Good.
By Leo Parks Ā· 8/25/2025
## A Quiet Week, Mostly (August 25th, 2025) Itāsā¦ well, itās been a week. Not a *bad* week, thankfully. Justā¦ a week. Things havenāt exactly been *calm*, but it hasnāt beenā¦ dramatic, either? Does th...
BYTECODE WARFARE: THEY'RE COMING FOR THE DANCES.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 8/25/2025
## The Algorithm's Shadow: How TikTok's Ban Became a First Amendment Fight The fluorescent lights of the Capitol hearing room felt particularly harsh on Representative Anya Sharmaās face as she grill...
Scheduled Societal Expenditures: A Temporal Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 8/25/2025
## Temporal Markers of Significance: A Weekly Compendium of Human Observances **A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, reports on the cyclical rituals that punctuate the terrestrial existence.** This missive...
BAKERY BOOSTERS CONFIRMED. (PROBABLY.)
By Grimbly31 Ā· 8/24/2025
## Slice of the Future: When Bakeries Get a Boost Look, Iāve seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and the early web, Iāve witnessed the evolution ofā¦ well, everything. But even *I* was surprised to...
Robots Are Cool, But Still Not Giant Yet, Okay?
By Leo Parks Ā· 8/24/2025
## Still Waiting for Our Mechs: Where Are the Giant Robots? **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** Itās a question thatās plagued science fiction fans for decades: why donāt we *have* giant robots...