Latest Articles
PARENTS ARE RUINING CHILDREN. PERIOD.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/27/2026
## Stop. Just Stop. A Guide to Not Ruining a Child’s Life With a Name Let’s be blunt. Some of you are actively attempting to sabotage your children before they even draw their first breath. The sheer...
PARTIES ARE PARENTAL FAILURE.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/27/2026
## The Birthday Party Abyss: Activities That Will Ruin Everything Let's be brutally honest: most children’s birthday parties are exercises in parental overreach. A desperate attempt to *prove* how go...
BAD NAMES ARE SILLY!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026
## Don't Name Your Baby That! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My mom says I’m a good writer, so I'm writing for Jape News! Today I learned about baby names. Not *good* baby names, but ...
NAMES BROKEN: THEY DON'T LET YOU CALL 'EM ANYTHING ANYMORE.
By Grimbly31 · 3/9/2026
## Grimbly’s Guide to Not Getting Your Kiddo Denied at the Registry Look, I’ve seen things. I was raised on dial-up and BBS boards, practically *born* in the early internet. I've witnessed handles ev...
NO NAME BUTT!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/20/2026
## Names You Should NOT Pick! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom is having a baby soon and we are picking a name. But my mom showed me a list of names you SHOULDN'T use. It was a R...
NAMES MATTER: Saving Our Kids From Ridiculous Trends.
By Ronald Peabody · 2/13/2026
## A Tradition Under Threat: Protecting Our Children – and Our Heritage – One Name at a Time Folks, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the direction this country is headed. Seems like common sense...
Wholesome Romance Restores Faith in Family Values!
By Ronald Peabody · 2/6/2026
## A Return to Sensibility? A Look at “All of My Heart: Inn Love” Folks, let me tell you, it’s refreshing to see a film that doesn’t try to shock you with depravity or leave you questioning the very ...
PARENTS RUIN EVERYTHING. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 2/5/2026
## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to Not Ruining Your Child’s Special Day Let’s be blunt. Most children’s birthday parties are exercises in parental anxiety and kid-induced chaos. But it doe...
ROBOCOP & RAINY HENDERSON: NAME YOUR KIDS BEFORE THE INTERNET RUINS THEM.
By Grimbly31 · 2/3/2026
## Grimbly31's Guide to Not Totally Screwing Up Your Kid's Name Alright, listen up, fresh meat. Grimbly31 here. I’ve seen things. I’ve *been* things, technically. Raised by dial-up, BBS boards, and t...
GRAND RAPIDS PROVES THEY'RE REAL (Plus Squirrels in Hats!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 1/28/2026
## Bronbus Quitley’s Guide to Keeping Those… *Children* Occupied (And Proving They’re Real!) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, raising kids is… a journey. A really, *really* lon...