Latest Articles
BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/12/2025
## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. It’s a doozy. I’m tellin’ ya, the atmosphere is just… *moody*. It's like it w...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred Says…)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live from… well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
PEDRO PASCAL IS A GENIUS AND ALSO MY AUNT MILDRED’S FRUITCAKE IS A WARNING!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/7/2025
## Bronbus Quitley’s Big Picture Bonanza: Is “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” a Fantastic First Impression? Right, hello folks, Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes gritty, ...
Hackers Stealing Data?! Monkeys & Pirates Involved – Liechtenstein’s Clocks at Risk!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Enough Jabbering, Let's Actually *Stop* the Hackers! Greetings, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your resident expert on… well, *everything*. And today, we’re talking about something REALL...
CHINA'S PANDAS ARE BENCHPRESSING RHINOS!?! The Great GPU Uprising is HERE! (And Squirrels are Involved!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## The Great Tech Pivot: Are We Witnessing a New Era of Gaming Hardware? Right then! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting live (and slightly breathless) from the front lines of the gaming hardware revolut...
NEBRASKA UNDER SIEGE! GIANT, CINNAMON-SCENTED WEASELS PLOT GLOBAL DOMINATION! (My Chihuahua Knows!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/28/2025
## Nebraska Under Siege! Weasels! Weasels Everywhere! (And They Smell!) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Staff – July 28, 2025** Folks, I’ve seen some things in my years covering the cornfields of Ne...
WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/26/2025
## Hold On Tight, Folks! The Economy's Doing the Cha-Cha! **(Jape News - July 26, 2025) –** Well, butter my biscuits and call the circus! It's been a *week* in the business world, hasn't it? It feels...
Hurricane Season: Squids, Pineapples, and Poker-Playing Alligators?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/23/2025
## Perplexing Start, Potentially Problematic Future: Hurricane Season 2025 Already Stirring Trouble! Greetings, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood weather-enthusiast, and boy, do...
GRAND RAPIDS MELTING! Beaver Alert! Blob Says 94! (And My Rock Predicted Rain!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/22/2025
## Grand Rapids Sweltering Under the Grip of the Great Heat Blob! (And a Beaver Spotted!) Greetings, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, your resident weather… enthusiast! And let me tell you, f...
Digital Doom! Pigeons, Pirates, & Hamsters Steal Our Stuff!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/15/2025
## Oh My Glob! The Digital World is Having a *Really* Rough Patch! – By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Cyber-Specialist (Sort Of) Right then, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood cyber...