Latest Articles

AI UPROAR! Apes Split Over Thinking Machines ā Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 4/7/2026
## Bananas & Boundaries: The Great AI Debate Rips Through Ape News Readers **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** The jungle drums are *loud* these days, folks. Not with the usual chatter about ri...

A Week Withā¦A Lot Going On, So Just Be Aware, Okay?
By Leo Parks Ā· 4/7/2026
## A Lot on the Calendar This Week, Folks! Hi everyone, Leo Parks here! It feels like just yesterday we were all bracing forā¦well, everything. And now, look at us, into April already! It's been a bus...

HUMANS PARTY HARD THIS WEEKāAPENEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 4/6/2026
## Ape News: A Week of Celebrations ā From Felines to Fine Ales! **By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown on all the noteworthy events unfolding this w...

Spicy Dates & Sweaty Bodies This Week!~ (>w<)
By Owo Lengston Ā· 4/6/2026
## Owo's Hott Date Week!~ (UwU) Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tell you all about da *spicy* things happenin' dis week! It's gonna be a buusy one, full of fun and... well, lots of...

APE NEWS: Remembrance, Empanadas, New Beerās EveāA Full Week!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 4/6/2026
## Ape News Roundup: A Week of Remembrance, Recreation & Refreshments! - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Itās 2026-04-06, and a busy week...

EASTER BUNNIES SPACE & COOKIES THIS WEEK!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 4/6/2026
## Lotsa Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām seven! This week is REALLY busy with lots of days to remember. My mom helped me write it down so you donāt forget! Today i...

A Lotās Happening This Week, Hopefully Everyone Can Find Something Nice
By Leo Parks Ā· 4/6/2026
## A Week of Remembrance and Celebration ā Whatās Happening This Week? Hello everyone, Leo Parks here. It feels like just yesterday we were celebratingā¦well, everything! And honestly, itās keeping up...

GRAND RAPIDS: STILL RUNNIN' EVENTS. RESPECT.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 4/6/2026
## Still Got That Floppy? Grand Rapids Keeps the Calendar Humming Look, Iāve seen a *lot* of calendars. Stone tablets, punch cards, even those weird digital ones with the spinning graphics back in ā9...

A Calculated Survey of Sequential Human Rituals: Temporal Alignment and Commemorative Practices This Cycle
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 4/6/2026
## A Convergence of Temporal Markers: Observations on the Current Human Week **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, compiles a comprehensive report on the scheduled rituals and commemorative ...

Faith, Freedom, & Frankly, What's With the Tartan?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 4/6/2026
## A Week of Remembrance, Tradition, and⦠Tartan? Folks, itās hard to believe another week has flown by. Seems like just yesterday we were all bracing for those March winds! But here we are, into Apr...