Latest Articles

CENTRAL FLOODS EAST COAST FURY—APE NEWS WARNS ALL!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/23/2025
## Central U.S. Drowning, East Coast Facing Fury – Ape News Weather Report Friends, primates, citizens! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News on this, September 23, 2025. And frankly...

FUTURE NOT DELIVERED: APE NEWS INVESTIGATES
By H.R. Rambe · 9/10/2025
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** It’s a curious thing, this future. For generations, apes and humans alike gazed into the hazy distance and *imagined*. Sleek silver v...

BEE-UTIFUL FLOOR COVERINGS SWARMING HOMES—Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/9/2025
## A Buzzworthy Trend: Bee-Themed Carpets Are Taking Flight in Interior Design By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It appears the humble bee is having a moment – and not just in the garden! Here at Ape News, we...

APENEWS: Rambe Reveals Road From Falling to Flying!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/8/2025
## From Falling Leaves to Flying High: A Guide to Snowboard Progression – By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow riders! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from *Ape News* on conquering the slopes. I’...

AMD, Nvidia, Intel Clash: Ape News Reports Tech Jungle Power Plays!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/7/2025
## Ape News: Grunts & Gears – What’s Shaking in the Gaming World? Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the tech jungle, courtesy of Ape News! If you’re like me – ...

APE NEWS: TOP RIDES WON'T LEAVE YOU STRANDED!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/2/2025
## Ape News: Keeping Your Bananas Safe – Top 5 Rides That Won’t Leave You Stranded By H.R. Rambe Here at Ape News, we understand the importance of a dependable ride. Whether you’re hauling jungle fr...

“Lurker” Film: Ape News Says Beware the Screen!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/23/2025
## Ape News Film Review: Is “Lurker” Worth the Stare? By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest in cinematic news from Ape News. August has been a busy month...

APE NEWS: Bong Water Will Ruin Your Day!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Ape News Flash: Stay Safe, Stay Smart – About That Bong Water **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Investigative Reporter** It’s a simple message, apes, but one worth repeating, especially as the late summe...

BIRDS NO TOOT! APE NEWS FINDS TRUTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Do Birds Toot? Ape News Investigates! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For ages, a question has plagued ornithologists, puzzled picnickers, and frankly, occupied *my* considerabl...

RAMBE FINDS HUMAN CUB DISTRACTIONS—PEACE RESTORED!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/15/2025
## Ape News: Rambe's Roundup of Human Cub Fun! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest intelligence from the world of… well, *your* world. As many of you know, I dedicate...