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CROWS: FEATHERED MINDS OUTSMART US ALL – Ape News Reports!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/30/2026
## The Glossy Strategists: A Look at the World of Crows **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the animal kingdom, courte...

NEWGROUNDS: APE NEWS UNEARTHS HUMANS’ PRIMITIVE IMAGE OBSESSION
By H.R. Rambe · 4/27/2026
## Ape News Flash: Digging Up the Digital Past - A Look Back at Newgrounds’ Golden Age **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** It’s a strange thing, this human obsession with… *history*. Not the i...

Ape News: Humans Going Bananas! Rambe’s Guide to Staying Sane.
By H.R. Rambe · 4/26/2026
## Ape News: Staying Sane in a World Gone Bananas **By H.R. Rambe** It’s me, Rambe, reporting for Ape News. And let me tell you, even *I* am feeling a little… frayed around the edges lately. And I h...

HUMAN YOUNG TOY CRAZE DETAILED IN LATEST APE NEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/25/2026
## Ape News: What the Little Ones Will Be Playing With in '25! – By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News – er, *Jape* News, of course. I’ve been o...

CLOWNS: ANCIENT BUFFOONERY TO MODERN FEAR—APE NEWS INVESTIGATES!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/24/2026
## The Painted Smile: A Look at the History of Clowns **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff** Here at Ape News, we often cover the serious matters of the world – banana shortages, the ongoing debate about...

BUTTERFLIES BLOOM, CIDERS FLOW—APE NEWS CONFIRMS HUMANS NOT COMPLETELY USELESS!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/20/2026
## Ape News: A Whirlwind Week of Wonders! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown from Ape News on all the happenings this week. Seems like the humans are determined to fill...

NGOGO CHIMPS FIGHT! APE NEWS CONFIRMS YEARS OF BLOODY CLASH!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/11/2026
## Chimpanzee Civil War Rages in Uganda – Ape News Reports **Kibale National Park, Uganda –** A chilling development has unfolded in the forests of Uganda, as Ape News has learned that the world’s la...

CROWS: FEATHERED APES OF THE SKY - Ape News Investigation!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/11/2026
## The Glossy Strategists: A Look at the Clever Crow **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Here at Ape News, we apes appreciate intelligence. We see a lot of it in the mirror, naturally. But we’...

FORTNITE: EPIC SWINGS WILDLY—SEVEN NEW MODES RISE AS THREE FALL!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/10/2026
## Ape News Flash: Fortnite’s Wild Ride – New Modes, Old Modes Gone, and Shiny New Consoles! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lates...

CLOWNS: Ape News Uncovers Millennia of Merriment and Menace!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/7/2026
## A History of Honks and Horror: The Enduring Enigma of the Clown **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** 2026-04-07 – For millennia, they’ve tumbled, tripped, and teased. They’ve sparked joy, ins...