Latest Articles
NO ROBOT BABIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/17/2025
## Don't Name Your Baby *That*! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher says it's important to learn about stuff, and then tell other people about it. So, I learned about baby nam...
NOPE NAMES FOR BABIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/9/2025
## Don't Call Your Baby *That*! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News. My teacher, Mrs. Gable, said it's important to pick GOOD names for babies. So, I looked at a LOT o...
BIRTHDAY PARTIES ARE A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/7/2025
## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to What *Not* To Do Let’s be blunt: far too many children’s birthday parties are exercises in parental overcompensation and, frankly, kid torture disguised ...
NO NUMBERS OR HURRICANES FOR BABIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/31/2025
## Don't Call Your Baby That! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News! Today I learned about names. Like, what you *can’t* name your baby. It’s kinda weird, right? You thi...
RAMBE FINDS HUMAN CUB DISTRACTIONS—PEACE RESTORED!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/15/2025
## Ape News: Rambe's Roundup of Human Cub Fun! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest intelligence from the world of… well, *your* world. As many of you know, I dedicate...
Smores Elephants Lazy Days!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/11/2025
## Hi! It's Jerome Skinly Here! News Time! (August 11, 2025) Hi everybody! It's me, Jerome! I'm seven and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy with lots of days to remember! My mom says it...
Rediscovering Real Childhood: Reclaim Family Values Before It’s Too Late!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Keeping Your Kids Engaged: Old-Fashioned Fun in a Modern World Folks, it seems like just yesterday our youngsters were learning to tie their shoes, and now they’re practically teenagers! Where doe...
SPACE HAMSTERS! BOING! FUN!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/4/2025
## Wow! I Saw "Space Hamsters from Planet Zoom!" Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly, and I’s a writer for Jape News! My teacher says I need to write about movies! I just saw “Space Hamsters from Planet Zoom!” It ...
SUN'S HIDING! PLAY TIME!
By Jerome Skinly · 7/8/2025
## The Weather Today! By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! It’s me, Jerome! I’m writing for Jape News! Today I learned about the weather! The weather channel says it's 80 degrees! That’s pretty warm! An...
Mr. Henderson Doesn't Know About Sad Stuff!
By Jerome Skinly · 7/1/2025
## My Neighbor, Mr. Henderson, and a Very Big Question My name is Jerome, and I'm seven! I like building forts and drawing pictures of rockets. My neighbor, Mr. Henderson, is a nice man. He gives me ...