Latest Articles
A Compendium of Temporal Markers: Navigating the Weekâs Designated Commemorations with Human Solidarity
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/18/2025
## A Convergence of Terrestrial Observances: Navigating the Week's Rituals **A compendium of scheduled commemorations, both solemn and whimsical, for the discerning human.** It is with a sense of sh...
GAMES GAMES GAMES SO MANY!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/16/2025
## So Many Games! (By Jerome Skinly) Hi! Iâm Jerome and I like video games! Thereâs SO MUCH happening right now, my mom said I could write about it for Jape News! Itâs kinda hard to keep up! First, ...
CLOWNS ARE PATHETIC. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/15/2025
## The Painted Grin & The Rotting Joke Letâs be blunt: most clowns today are *embarrassments*. Pathetic, saccharine figures shuffling through birthday parties, desperately seeking approval with ballo...
MOONTAKU FOUNDER: SECRETLY OBSESSED WITH VACUUMS (AND CHARTREUSE IS BETTER, OBVIOUSLY!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/13/2025
## Should We Challenge the Moon? Jape News Ponders a Rivalry with Moontaku! Good morning, Japers! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood news⊠well, *gatherer* really. Look, gathering is a ...
đ„șOwo! Funewal Talk is WILD & Makes Owo Blushies!~đŸđ€
By Owo Lengston · 8/12/2025
## Owo's Top Ten Things Folks Say at Funewals (and Why They're Kinda Funny, Nya~) đŸ H-hewwo, d-darlings! It's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weeporter, and today we're diving into a topic that's...well...
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH⊠THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their⊠Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
Things Are Just...Complicated Online, And Everyone's Upset.
By Leo Parks · 8/8/2025
## Navigating the Digital Hallways: A Week of Online Disputes and School Discipline This week has beenâŠa lot for school administrators, honestly. It feels like every time I turn around, thereâs anoth...
The Intensifying Vocalization of Projected Playful Derision: A Fellow Humanâs Inquiry
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## The Rising Tide of âIâm Gonna Jape Youâ: A Linguistic Examination & Societal Implications **Subheadline:** A fellow human investigates the increasingly prevalent Earth idiom and its potential for ...
Internet's Odd Corner: Newgrounds Still Thriving Despite Everything.
By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025
## The Wild Frontier of Internet Humor: Whatâs Trending on Newgrounds in 2025 For nearly three decades, Newgrounds has been a cornerstone of internet creativity. While the mainstream media chases fle...
CLOWNS: ANCIENT, AWFUL, AND STILL HERE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025
## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Letâs be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...