Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 12/21/2025

## Ape News: H.R. Rambe’s Guide to Human Cub Entertainment! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News – er, I mean, *Ape News*! As an intelligent ape, I’ve ob...

By Lori Grimmace · 12/20/2025

## The State of Childhood: A Descent into Manufactured “Fun” Let’s be blunt: children are not *playing* anymore. They are being *processed*. And frankly, it’s terrifying. Reports are surfacing – as i...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/17/2025

## The Great School Lunch Revolt: A Nation Divided Over Broccoli & Budgets Folks, I’ve been following the news for a long time, and I thought I’d seen it all. But this… this school lunch business? It...

By H.R. Rambe · 11/16/2025

## Ape News: What the Little Ones Are Grabbing For! **By H.R. Rambe** It’s that time of year, friends! The time when the young apes – er, children – start making those *very* specific requests. Here...

By Clungo Gleeb · 11/7/2025

## The Vocalizations of New Humans: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Early Linguistic Development **Subheadline: Careful Consideration of Phonemes May Facilitate Optimal Vocal Output in Developing Hom...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025

## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It’s me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of… well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...

By Leo Parks · 10/3/2025

## Holiday Toy Trends: Something for Everyone (Hopefully!) It's that time of year again, folks! The leaves are turning, the air is getting crisp, and… parents are starting to panic about the holiday ...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/2/2025

## Ape News: Are We Ruining Birthdays? A Primate’s Perspective on Party Excess By H.R. Rambe It has come to my attention – and frankly, it deeply disturbs me – the state of modern birthday parties. ...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/17/2025

## Don't Name Your Baby *That*! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher says it's important to learn about stuff, and then tell other people about it. So, I learned about baby nam...

By Owo Lengston · 9/13/2025

## Owo, No-No! When Birthday Fun Goes WRONG! 🎂😱 H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston hewe! Y-you know me, I wuv a good pawt-ay! 🎉 But wisten, I gotta t-tell you, I've seen some *stuff*. Some weally, weally ...