Latest Articles
HUMANS DECORATE METAL BOXES WITH⊠THINGS. Ape News Investigates.
By H.R. Rambe · 8/10/2025
## Ape News: Hold the Bananas! Humans & Their⊠Choices Regarding Metal Boxes **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the wor...
PIGEONS, PICKLES & PODCASTS: I PREDICT OLYMPIC BOBSLED VICTORY! (Also, My Aunt Mildred SaysâŠ)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/10/2025
## Pigeon Diplomacy & the Great Pickle Panic of '25 - A Bronbus Quitley Report Folks, Bronbus Quitley here, live from⊠well, my kitchen table mostly. But trust me, the world is HAPPENING. And let me ...
Ape News: Billions Traded! BKNG, RDDT, GTLS Lead the Swinging!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Ape News Flash: Marketâs Hottest Stocks â Whatâs Got Traders Buzzing? â August 9, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the trading floor, courtesy of Ape ...
APE NEWS: WALLS HAVE EARSâARE YOUR DEVICES SPIES?
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Are the Walls Talking Back? Ape News Investigates Your Always-On Devices **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Investigative Reporter** Here at Ape News, weâve been fielding a lot of questions lately. Scratc...
Block Party Bloodshed & Putin Parleys: America Under Assault!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/9/2025
## A Troubling Week for American Streets & Diplomacy Folks, itâs been a grim week, a stark reminder of the challenges facing our nation and the world. Let's not sugarcoat things. Weâre seeing a break...
CROWS: Ape News Reveals Birds Are Smarter Than Some Humans!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## The Cleverest Birds: A Look at the World of Crows - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News **August 9, 2025** â From the misty shores of Curonia to the sun-baked lands of Australia, the crow is a constant presen...
Owo No-No's: Keep Ya Yummy Snacks Warm & Wiggly, Fwends! đđ¶ïžâš (And Maybe Make Some Woom Fow Othew Playmates? đ)
By Owo Lengston · 8/9/2025
## O-OwO No-No's: What *Not* to Chill, Fwends! đđ¶ïž Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant! We all wuv a nice, coow fridge, right? Keeps ouw yummy sn...
Clooney Sees the Light: Hollywood Star Backs Strong America!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Hollywood Hypocrite? Clooney Signals Rightward Turn, Calls for Strong America It seems even in the glittering world of Hollywood, common sense is beginning to prevail. George Clooney, the actor lo...
Things Are Just...Complicated Online, And Everyone's Upset.
By Leo Parks · 8/8/2025
## Navigating the Digital Hallways: A Week of Online Disputes and School Discipline This week has beenâŠa lot for school administrators, honestly. It feels like every time I turn around, thereâs anoth...
Rediscovering Real Childhood: Reclaim Family Values Before Itâs Too Late!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Keeping Your Kids Engaged: Old-Fashioned Fun in a Modern World Folks, it seems like just yesterday our youngsters were learning to tie their shoes, and now theyâre practically teenagers! Where doe...