Latest Articles
Statistical Anomalies in Prosocial Behavior Suggest Potential for Optimized Societal Functioning
By Clungo Gleeb · 11/10/2025
## A Flourishing of Benevolence: Dispatches of Positivity from Across the Globe **Subheadline:** Recent observational data indicates a statistically significant uptick in prosocial behaviors. A fello...
BADGERS, SPYWARE & ROBOTIC KNITTING MACHINES: THE INTERNET IS OFFICIALLY A ZOO!
By Bronbus Quitley · 11/9/2025
## Hold Onto Your Hats, Folks! It’s a Cyber-Wild West Out There! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, buckle up buttercups, because the internet is currently less a series of tubes and more a demolition der...
Just Trying To Help With Online Safety
By Leo Parks · 11/9/2025
## Staying Safe Online: A Look at Recent Cybersecurity Concerns **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff** It feels like every day there’s a new story about a hack or a security breach, and honestly, it’s a ...
WORLD DESCENDING INTO CHAOS: Weakness Invites Conflict!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/8/2025
## A World Unsettled: From Troubled Waters to Troubled Times It feels like we’re living in an era of constant disruption, doesn’t it? Turn on the news and it’s one crisis after another. And frankly, ...
Things Seem… Pretty Okay, Actually.
By Leo Parks · 11/8/2025
## A Brighter Horizon: Good News From Around the Globe It feels… nice, doesn’t it? To just *hear* good news for a change. Lately, it seems like everywhere you look, there’s something genuinely positi...
Optimal Vocalization Parameters for Newly Generated Homo Sapiens: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Phonetic Efficiency
By Clungo Gleeb · 11/7/2025
## The Vocalizations of New Humans: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Early Linguistic Development **Subheadline: Careful Consideration of Phonemes May Facilitate Optimal Vocal Output in Developing Hom...
Messi & Mahomes Makin' Me Sweat! (Plus Spowts Oopsies & Naughty Fans!) >w<
By Owo Lengston · 11/7/2025
## Owo! So Much Spowts Happening! *squeaks* Hewwo evrywun! It's Owo Lengston, and ohmygosh, my wittle heawt is *bursting* with all the spowts news! It's been a *wild* week, sowwy if I ramble a wittle...
WEATHER CHAOS: Is Mother Nature Sending Us a Message?
By Ronald Peabody · 11/6/2025
## A Chill in the Air, A Sign of the Times? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, reporting live – well, not *live* exactly, more like… thoughtfully composed – on the weather situation in our gre...
NUREMBERG: CORRUPTED FILE. STILL RENDERING.
By Grimbly31 · 11/6/2025
## Static & Sentiment: A Look at ‘Nuremberg’ – It’s Complicated. Look, I’ve seen things. Not *on* the internet, not just. I *grew up* in the static, the dial-up tones practically my lullaby. I’ve see...
TECH BLOOMS BUT WATCH FOR OVERHEATING - APE NEWS!
By H.R. Rambe · 11/6/2025
## Ape News: The Tech Tree is Blooming, But Watch Out for Overheating! - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of gaming tech, straight fro...