Latest Articles
SPORTS ISN'T DYING IT'S ALREADY DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/15/2025
## The State of Play: A Descent into Mediocrity and Predictable Scandals Letās be clear: if I wanted fluff, Iād collect dust bunnies. The sports world, as presented by the Associated Press ā and ther...
Digital Warfare: Our Systems Under Constant Attack!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 11/15/2025
## A Digital Storm: November Brings Wave After Wave of Cyberattacks Folks, let me tell you, itās getting rough out there in the digital world. Iāve been following the cybersecurity news closely these...
SHARMAāS āECHO BLOOMā: TWO HOURS WASTED.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/15/2025
## āEcho Bloomā: A Cinematic Void Disguised as Art Letās be clear: āEcho Bloom,ā the latest offering from director Anya Sharma, isnāt *bad*. Itās worse. Itās profoundly, aggressively *empty*. Two hou...
Things Are Happening, And We're Covering It All.
By Leo Parks Ā· 11/14/2025
## A Mixed Bag for the Economy, Folks Well, good morning everyone. Leo Parks here, and things areā¦ certainly happening in the business world. Itās a lot to keep up with, honestly, and Iām just trying...
SPORTS IS A WASTE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/14/2025
## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...
Atmospheric Presentations Manifest, Requiring Detailed Documentation for Terrestrial Inhabitants
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 11/13/2025
## Atmospheric Conditions Present Unique Spectacles for Terrestrial Inhabitants **Subheadline:** A confluence of meteorological events offers both visual wonder and potential for aqueous inconvenienc...
WORLD INSISTS ON BEING MILDLY LESS AWFUL. STILL DISAPPOINTING.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/13/2025
## Stop the Presses: A World Apparently Determined to Beā¦ *Decent*? Right. Letās get this over with. Iāve been tasked with compiling a rundown of āupliftingā world news. Uplifting. As if the world ha...
Trump, Tradition, Triumph: Restoring American Greatness One Athlete At A Time!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 11/13/2025
## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, letās talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...
ROBOTS LEARNING STUFF!!!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 11/12/2025
## Robots That *Think*?! New Stuff About AI! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about robots and computers getting *way* smarter. My dad helped me a little, but...
WRESTLING MOVES ARE SOOOO FUNNY!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 11/12/2025
## WHOA! The SILLIEST Wrestling Moves EVER! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I LOVE wrestling! My dad lets me stay up kinda late sometimes to watch it with him. It's SO COOL! But I was thinkingā¦ some of the...