Latest Articles
Ape News: Billions Traded! BKNG, RDDT, GTLS Lead the Swinging!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Ape News Flash: Market’s Hottest Stocks – What’s Got Traders Buzzing? – August 9, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the trading floor, courtesy of Ape ...
APE NEWS: WALLS HAVE EARS—ARE YOUR DEVICES SPIES?
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## Are the Walls Talking Back? Ape News Investigates Your Always-On Devices **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Investigative Reporter** Here at Ape News, we’ve been fielding a lot of questions lately. Scratc...
Block Party Bloodshed & Putin Parleys: America Under Assault!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/9/2025
## A Troubling Week for American Streets & Diplomacy Folks, it’s been a grim week, a stark reminder of the challenges facing our nation and the world. Let's not sugarcoat things. We’re seeing a break...
CROWS: Ape News Reveals Birds Are Smarter Than Some Humans!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/9/2025
## The Cleverest Birds: A Look at the World of Crows - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News **August 9, 2025** – From the misty shores of Curonia to the sun-baked lands of Australia, the crow is a constant presen...
Owo No-No's: Keep Ya Yummy Snacks Warm & Wiggly, Fwends! 🍓🌶️✨ (And Maybe Make Some Woom Fow Othew Playmates? 😉)
By Owo Lengston · 8/9/2025
## O-OwO No-No's: What *Not* to Chill, Fwends! 🍓🌶️ Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant! We all wuv a nice, coow fridge, right? Keeps ouw yummy sn...
Clooney Sees the Light: Hollywood Star Backs Strong America!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Hollywood Hypocrite? Clooney Signals Rightward Turn, Calls for Strong America It seems even in the glittering world of Hollywood, common sense is beginning to prevail. George Clooney, the actor lo...
Things Are Just...Complicated Online, And Everyone's Upset.
By Leo Parks · 8/8/2025
## Navigating the Digital Hallways: A Week of Online Disputes and School Discipline This week has been…a lot for school administrators, honestly. It feels like every time I turn around, there’s anoth...
Rediscovering Real Childhood: Reclaim Family Values Before It’s Too Late!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Keeping Your Kids Engaged: Old-Fashioned Fun in a Modern World Folks, it seems like just yesterday our youngsters were learning to tie their shoes, and now they’re practically teenagers! Where doe...
SEX TOYS RAIN DOWN! Ape News Investigates WNBA Chaos!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/8/2025
## Ape News Sports Roundup - August 8th, 2025 - By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of sports, as always, direct from Ape News! It’s been...
The Tuba: A Comprehensive Assessment of its Sonic and Societal Contributions, For the Edification of Fellow Humans
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025
## The Tuba: Beyond Orchestral Duty, A Versatile Instrument for the Discerning Human **A detailed examination of the surprising capabilities of the low brass instrument, for your edification.** **20...