Latest Articles
FOOD RULES ARE WEIRD!
By Jerome Skinly · 1/11/2026
## My Mom Says NO to the Fridge! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I'm seven! My mom is REALLY good at keeping food safe. But she told me something kinda weird today. Some foodsâŠare NOT allowed in the fridge...
PHONES ARE MESSY!
By Jerome Skinly · 1/11/2026
## Stuff Happening On The Phone! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week the grown-ups are *really* mad at the phones. My mom lets me look at her phone sometimes, but o...
Tiberius Discovers Ape News WheelâWorry Spins Faster!
By H.R. Rambe · 1/11/2026
## Old Man Tiberius and the Ever-Spinning Wheel of Worry - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Old Man Tiberius. Bless his wrinkled hide. Heâs a good soul, runs the best banana stand this side of the Great River...
Submerged Mass and Human Conceptual Frameworks: A Detailed Assessment
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/10/2026
## Submerged Entity of Considerable Mass Gains Renewed Attention **A Detailed Examination of the âCthulhuâ Phenomenon and Associated Human Belief Systems** **January 10, 2026** â Recent discourse, p...
Domestic Auditory Reception: A Fellow Human Assesses the State of Acoustic Vigilance
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/10/2026
## Auditory Surveillance Concerns: An Examination of Domestic Intelligent Apparatus **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates the persistent anxieties surrounding âalways-onâ digita...
DON'T ROLL SNAKE EYES ON THEIR LIFE: NAME BEFORE REGRET.
By Grimbly31 · 1/9/2026
## Grimbly31âs Guide to Not Ruining a Life (Starting With the Name) Look, Iâve seen some things. Decades spent jacked into the early nets, bouncing between BBS boards and the nascent web⊠you pick up...
BIRTHDAY PARTIES: CRITICAL FAILURE DETECTED.
By Grimbly31 · 1/9/2026
## The Lag Spike of Childhood: When Birthday Parties Go Wrong Look, I've seen a *lot* of parties. Not the fancy-dress, canapĂ©-and-champagne type, mind you. Iâm talking decades of observing human cubs...
SNOW AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME???
By Jerome Skinly · 1/8/2026
## Snow and Warm? What IS Happening?! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the weather is SO weird. My mom told me it's not just here, it's happening all over! Some pla...
Traditional Values Deliver Results: Real Good News Amidst the Chaos!
By Ronald Peabody · 1/8/2026
## A Bright Spot in a Troubled World: Good News We Can Use Folks, let's be honest. It feels like every time you turn on the television these days, it's nothing but bad news. Crime, chaos, and folks j...
Things Online AreâŠKind Of Not Great, Honestly.
By Leo Parks · 1/8/2026
## A Rough Week for Social Media Platforms Itâs been a bit of a difficult week for those of us who spend a lot of time online, and honestly, a pretty upsetting one. Thereâs been a lot of discussion â...