Latest Articles

Things Online AreâŠKind Of Not Great, Honestly.
By Leo Parks · 1/8/2026
## A Rough Week for Social Media Platforms Itâs been a bit of a difficult week for those of us who spend a lot of time online, and honestly, a pretty upsetting one. Thereâs been a lot of discussion â...

WICKED: A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 1/7/2026
## Grimmace's Gavel: "Wicked: For Good" â A Saccharine Stain on a Perfectly Good Story Letâs be clear: the original âWickedâ movie was a passable, if bland, adaptation. It understood the *basic* prem...

SNOWBOARDING TRICKS ARE AWESOME!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 1/7/2026
## Snowboarding is SO COOL! Tricks You Can Try! Hi! Iâm Jerome Skinly and I LOVE snowboarding! Itâs the best. My dad says Iâm pretty good, but I wanna be REALLY good. I read about all the tricks you ...

HAWAIIAN SNOW & ATLANTIS FLOODSâMY AUNT MILDRED WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE PIGEONS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 1/6/2026
## Is the World Turning Upside Down? (Probably Not, But Still!) - By Bronbus Quitley Good MORNING, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you're one of those folks who sleeps 'til noon. No ...

MOOOI RUGS: APE NEWS SAYS LUXURY BLOOMS UNDERFOOT!
By H.R. Rambe · 1/6/2026
## Ape News: Buzzworthy New Rugs from Moooi Carpets **By H.R. Rambe** Here at Ape News, weâre always on the lookout for items that bring a touch of the wild â or, in this case, the wonderfully indus...

SNOWBOARDING: FLAWED SURVIVAL GUIDE.
By Lori Grimmace · 1/6/2026
## Ten Tricks? More Like Ten Attempts at Not Destroying Yourself. Letâs be clear: the proliferation of âTop Tenâ lists in action sports is insulting. As if reducing the nuanced art of snowboarding to...

Tuba's Unexpected Resurgence: A Return to Solid FoundationsâLet's Keep it Classy.
By Ronald Peabody · 1/5/2026
## The Tuba: More Than Just an Oompah Instrument, Folks Now, Iâll admit, when I first heard about folks getting all excited about the tuba, I thought, âAnother one of these trendy instrument revivals...

Owo! So Many Days To Get Spunky With!~ đ€€đâš
By Owo Lengston · 1/5/2026
## Owo, So Much Happening This Week! A Wittle Guide to All da Fun!~ đ„ș Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to hewp you keep twack of aww da impowtant stuff happening wight now! It's Januw...

GNOME-BELIEVING SIMPLETON EMBARRASSES NATION
By Lori Grimmace · 1/5/2026
## Man Still Believes News "Ends" â A National Embarrassment **By Lori Grimmace** January 5, 2026 â It has come to my attention, and frankly, to the detriment of my faith in basic human cognition, t...

Fridge Fanaticism: Are We Ruining Our Food & Our Nation?
By Ronald Peabody · 1/4/2026
## The Chill on Common Sense: What Are We *Doing* With Our Produce?! Folks, Iâve been thinking. Really *thinking*. And what Iâve been thinking about isâŠrefrigerators. These metal boxes have become th...