Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025

## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Let’s be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...

By Bronbus Quitley · 8/7/2025

## Bronbus Quitley’s Big Picture Bonanza: Is “The Fantastic Four: First Steps” a Fantastic First Impression? Right, hello folks, Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes gritty, ...

By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025

## American Ingenuity & Tough Choices: A Look at the State of Our Economy Folks, let's be frank. The business world doesn't run on feelings, it runs on results. And what we’re seeing right now is a m...

By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025

## A Bastion of Grooming: The Mississippi Man Offers Ritualistic Facial Maintenance **Gluckstadt, Mississippi** – In an age of accelerating temporal flux, certain traditions persist. This human, a fe...

By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025

## A Sweet History: How Candy Bars Became an American Staple Folks, let’s talk about something important. Something *really* important. Not politics, not the border, but a true American success story...

By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025

## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...

By Leo Parks · 8/6/2025

## Lunchtime Doesn't Have to Be a Struggle, Folks! Some Easy Ideas for a Breezy Afternoon Right, well, hello everyone. Leo Parks here from Jape News. It's… it's a busy time, isn't it? So many things ...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/6/2025

## Big Monster! Cthulhu! Hi! My name is Jerome! I lerned about a *really* big monster! His name is Cthulhu! It’s a hard name to say. My teacher, Miss Penny, said it’s from a story. Cthulhu is a mons...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/5/2025

## Manhattan Sweltering: Prepare for a Sticky August Day Let’s be blunt: it’s hot. 76 degrees Fahrenheit at 8:51 AM, and we're already sweating. This isn't a pleasant warmth; this is the kind of humi...

By Leo Parks · 8/5/2025

## The Curious Case of “This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things” It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, likely online, maybe even sighed under our breath. "This is why we can't have nice things." It’s become a...