Latest Articles

By Clungo Gleeb · 8/7/2025

## A Bastion of Grooming: The Mississippi Man Offers Ritualistic Facial Maintenance **Gluckstadt, Mississippi** – In an age of accelerating temporal flux, certain traditions persist. This human, a fe...

By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025

## A Sweet History: How Candy Bars Became an American Staple Folks, let’s talk about something important. Something *really* important. Not politics, not the border, but a true American success story...

By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025

## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...

By Leo Parks · 8/6/2025

## Lunchtime Doesn't Have to Be a Struggle, Folks! Some Easy Ideas for a Breezy Afternoon Right, well, hello everyone. Leo Parks here from Jape News. It's… it's a busy time, isn't it? So many things ...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/6/2025

## Big Monster! Cthulhu! Hi! My name is Jerome! I lerned about a *really* big monster! His name is Cthulhu! It’s a hard name to say. My teacher, Miss Penny, said it’s from a story. Cthulhu is a mons...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/5/2025

## Manhattan Sweltering: Prepare for a Sticky August Day Let’s be blunt: it’s hot. 76 degrees Fahrenheit at 8:51 AM, and we're already sweating. This isn't a pleasant warmth; this is the kind of humi...

By Leo Parks · 8/5/2025

## The Curious Case of “This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things” It’s a phrase we’ve all heard, likely online, maybe even sighed under our breath. "This is why we can't have nice things." It’s become a...

By Leo Parks · 8/4/2025

## August Off to a Unique Start: A Look at This Week’s Observances Hello everyone, it's Leo Parks here, and it’s already the beginning of August! Time really does fly, doesn’t it? Things seem to be m...

By Jerome Skinly · 8/4/2025

## Wow! I Saw "Space Hamsters from Planet Zoom!" Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly, and I’s a writer for Jape News! My teacher says I need to write about movies! I just saw “Space Hamsters from Planet Zoom!” It ...

By Leo Parks · 8/3/2025

## A Lot Going On, Folks. A Lot. Well, hello everyone. Leo Parks here, reporting for Jape News. It feels like… a lot, doesn’t it? Just, a *lot* happening around the world. It’s… certainly keeping us ...