Latest Articles

By Ronald Peabody · 2/8/2026

## This Isn’t the Future I Asked For Now, I’ve seen a lot of things in my time. Been writing for Jape News for… well, let’s just say a good long while. I thought I was prepared for anything. Flying c...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/5/2026

## Another Gray Day, Another Waste of Oxygen Let’s be clear: the weather is offensively mediocre. Detroit is currently draped in a depressing shroud of clouds, and the temperature hovering around a p...

By Jerome Skinly · 2/2/2026

## Babies and Shiny Phones? By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven. My teacher, Miss Lily, said I could write for the news! Today I wanna talk about babies and… iPhones. My cousin Leo just had...

By Lori Grimmace · 1/16/2026

## Painted Faces, Empty Souls: A Dissection of the Clown Let's be clear: the recent resurgence of "clown appreciation" is nauseating. These garishly painted figures, historically and presently, are n...

By Ronald Peabody · 1/4/2026

## The Chill on Common Sense: What Are We *Doing* With Our Produce?! Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. And what I’ve been thinking about is…refrigerators. These metal boxes have become th...

By Ronald Peabody · 12/9/2025

## The War on Refrigerators: Are We Throwing Away Good Food? Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. About our refrigerators. These humming metal boxes have become the center of our kitchens, s...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/24/2025

## The State of Play: Are We Being Spoiled, or Just…Confused? Folks, let me tell you, keeping up with this gaming world is a full-time job. And frankly, a lot of it feels… unnecessary. Back in my day...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/19/2025

## The State of the Game: A Look at What's Happening in Sports Today Folks, let’s be honest, it feels like sports are changing faster than ever. Not necessarily *for the better*, mind you, but changi...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/14/2025

## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/13/2025

## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, let’s talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...